From Romance to Chaos: 10 Factors That Have Shattered the Dating Experience
The rules, standards, and dating expectations seem to change with each generation. The days of going to the malt shop for a milkshake after seeing a moving at the drive-in are gone, and many believe dating is ruined. But what exactly has ruined dating? Or has it just changed with the new generation?
Social Media
One Redditor replied, “Social media. So many people on social media present this highly curated existence as though it’s a spontaneous life they’re living. When you spend 5 hours a day setting up the perfect romantic situation and then cut out the other 19 hours of the day and show it as “real life,” expectations go all out of whack.”
A second Redditor added, “Unrealistic expectations set my social media. The constant d***-measuring contest about who can be richer, who can be more beautiful, who can sell themselves better to a potential date. Gross.”
Isolation
A popular comment was, “The real answer is isolation/alienation because we as Americans have an extremely limited selection of spaces where you can just exist in public for free and almost no common shared spaces where we can meet people. Proximity is the breeding ground for romance.”
Effort
A user commented, “Lack of effort and people only looking for what they can get out of someone.”
Another user added, “Lack of effort thinking they have more options, so they don’t care about being serious and making an effort.”
Dating Apps
A comment read, “Dating apps. Tons of research shows that everyone who uses a dating app is miserable. It’s an awful experience that we’re forced to use.”
Another comment was, “Dating apps, it’s a case that kinda can be described as “paralysis by analysis.” There are now so many options, as in potential partners (and this may affect women to a greater extent than men), that you start most dates or conversations with one foot out the door.”
Inflation
A Redditor responded, “Inflation, going out on a date now is crazy expensive.”
A second Redditor simply wrote, “The economy.”
Unavailable
One user wrote, “It feels like after that age everyone who wants to be in a relationship (and is emotionally capable of it) is already taken, or when they are single it’s a very short window until they find someone to date so like 90% of the single population is just hopelessly emotionally unavailable.”
A second user replied, “Sometimes I think I’ll have more hope during the divorce season for my age group.”
Expectations
A popular comment was, “Expectations. In a world of so many choices, it’s become really difficult.”
A user commented, “A big part was expectations. I just want people to hang out with, I don’t feel like having to make the first move, impress, or figure out what makes an awesome date, and I’m sure as hell not going to try to “Sell” myself.”
Hook Ups
A Redditor commented, “Hookup culture! People just want to hook up instead of actually having a loving relationship.”
Another Redditor added, “And that’s why under 25 has the most STDs since the Renaissance. Avoid those people like the plague.”
Mental Health
One user commented, “Generally bad mental health. You can’t be in a healthy relationship without a decent amount of emotional intelligence, which is pretty lacking in my experience.”
A second user wrote, “The idea that your partner is/should be responsible for your emotional well-being. Romance should be like dessert, but for the rest of your needs, learn to cook your own food.”
Marriage
To finish up, two funny comments were, “Marriage ruined dating for me” and “My wife. She doesn’t let me do it anymore.”
Redditors sure had a lot of reasons why dating is ruined currently. What do you think ruined dating?
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