That Marriage Will Never Last! Here’s Why…
Have you ever had a moment where a friend or family member ever introduced you to their new partner, and as they walked away, you thought to yourself, “they’re not going to last!” Although we hope people do not feel this way at a wedding, we all know that most marriages nowadays no longer see “until death do us part.” Here are some wedding moments that made guests think “they are not going to last.”
Admitted To Not Liking Fiance
One Redditor commented, “She told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn’t like him and that he was AWFUL in bed.”
Another Redditor added, “Bride excused herself to go the bathroom, and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (sth she’s passionate about) to the officiary. She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together, and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her. He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back.”
For Richer or Richer
A user replied, “When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the “for richer or poorer” part, and she said, “for richer or richer and maybe for poorer.” The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.”
A second user added, “The groom showed up drunk after golfing with buddies all day. The bride, in her vows, said “For Richer”… left out the “poorer.”
Too Drunk
A most liked comment read, “He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception. He went out the night before with his sister and friends and got plastered. They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos. The marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house, and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.”
Another comment was, “When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.”
A third comment was, “He got so f***ed up at the reception he had a fistfight with her cousin in the toilets over coke. He told all the other cousins to get lost. He hit on my aunt. He told my cousin’s child to come back to him when she was 15/16. And he forgot to bring his child to the hotel.”
“Game Over”
One user added, “the groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned “Game Over.”
Abuse
A Redditor commented, “The bride had a bruised eye covered by make-up. Also, it was visible that walking was hurting her. I might think it was because the corset was pushing on broken ribs.”
Asking For Reassurance
A user wrote, “When my sister married her first husband, she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle “I can make this work, right?”… They were divorced 6 months later…. my whole family knew it wasn’t a good idea since the original engagement a year prior….”
A second user commented, “One of my friends got married. Afterward she looked at me, crying, and said ” what did I do? “. They were separated when the plane landed from their honeymoon. He was a good guy. She was a mess. The beta fish in the flower centerpieces lasted longer than the marriage.”
Answering a Phone Call
A very funny comment was, “I was at a wedding when a phone went off during the ceremony. In the middle of exchanging vows. It was the groom’s phone. He took the call. They are divorced now. Edit to add: I believe it was a cousin calling to ask if they were late for the wedding.”
A user questioned, “Unless he’s a premiere surgeon or other some sort of indispensable doctor, why the __ did he even have his phone on him? I didn’t have mine.”
All Eyes On Me
One Redditor wrote, “ Throughout the exchange of vows, she was looking at everyone but my brother, making sure all eyes were on her. Later, she instructed the photographer (a family friend who was cheap) to “mingle” and get shots of people “being happy.” Within 10 minutes, she’d summoned the photographer back, shouting, “Whose wedding is this?! I meant to get shots of people being happy for me.”’
A second Redditor replied, “The groom and best man had a dancing routine for getting into the church ceremony, and they got nearly halfway through it, and I guess the groom felt they hadn’t received much applause and wows from us, the attendees and decided to go back to the entrance and start all over. Sigh…”
A third Redditor commented, “One where the wedding was all about the groom promoting his band. He even “sang his bride a song” that was literally just him showing off his vocal range with some classic piece. She stood up and joined him on stage halfway through, and he looked annoyed that he had to share the limelight. They lasted about 2 years (he was sleeping with the other vocalist in the band.).”
Not Faithful
A user commented, “Two friends of mine got married, and when they gave their vows, the guy started laughing at the part about being faithful. Oops.”
Another user added, “I once watched a live stream of the wrong Vegas wedding (the link I was given for a friend’s wedding was incorrect), and during the exchange of vows, the groom got to the part about being faithful, and the bride visibly and audibly chuckled. It was hilarious to watch, but I bet they didn’t last long.”
Betting Pool
A Redditor commented, “The entire bridal party, including parents of the wedded couple, entering into a betting pool of how long the marriage would last, at the wedding reception. IIRC, the best man won (price is right rules) at 14 months.”
Third Marriage
One user said, “His third wedding. Same venue and same after ceremony driving away vehicle as the first two.”
A second user added, “oh, this is never a good thing. My cousin did this with his second wedding. Got a discount because he reminded the photographer he took pictures at his first wedding.”
Spite Wedding
A popular comment was, “They got secretly married at the local Town Hall out of spite to the girl’s father, who did not agree with the relationship. This happened right out of high school, and they divorced during my sophomore year at college.”
Another similar comment read, “I know a guy who got married right out of college in a similar fashion. He did it because his father didn’t want him to be someone who wasn’t Jewish. He then cut all ties with the family and everyone. He finally showed back up a few years ago. He has a college degree, a good career, and 3 kids. Then again, he was always among the smartest people I know.”
Cake Smashing Episodes
A Redditor commented, “The groom took the stupid cake thing to an extreme. The bride had given him his bite and mushed a little on his chin or nose. He then took a piece and MASHED it into her face so hard that I expected her to end up with a bloody nose. Cake and frosting got up her nose, in her eyes, down the front of her dress, etc.”
Actually Didn’t Want To Get Married
One user replied, “The bride told her bridesmaids that she didn’t actually want to get married. Multiple times. No one told the groom until after the divorce.”
A second user said, “Had a friend who did this. Kept telling other friends and me she wasn’t sure she wanted to get married anymore and was having second thoughts. We all told her to call it off, but she went through with it anyway. They split 6 months later.”
This cringe-worth thread on Reddit is one of those threads that make you want to turn away and stop reading. But it’s just too good! Have you had a “they won’t make it” moment at a wedding?
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