People often have the uncanny ability to utter perplexing and nonsensical statements, the epitome of which could be categorized as “dumb things.” These verbal fumbles can range from unintentional hilarity to outright cringe-worthy moments. Whether it’s blindly embracing conspiracy theories without evidence, making blatantly false assumptions, or misusing common sayings, the array of dumb things people say seems endless.
60 Seconds Or A Minute
A poster shared, “I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked, “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing.”
The Sun & The Moon
A second poster added, “I knew someone who thought the sun and the moon were the same thing. She was 18 and just graduated high school.”
It Never Happened Before
A third poster said, “Well, she never got pregnant before.” After his gf got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection.”
Rivers Make A Full Loop
This user recalled, “Someone in our group lost a flip-flop in a river. We watched it float downstream. Another group member said, “Be patient because it’ll eventually do a full loop and return.”
Life-Sized Sea Horse
A top-liked comment said, “I dated a girl who thought sea horses were the size of regular horses. She was so disappointed at the aquarium.”
Someone added, “A friend told me, “Everyone knows you only gain weight from the food you spend money on. That’s why homeless people are so thin.”
Both Can Fly?
One user said, “That there’s no difference between turkey and ham because “they both come from birds.” I guess pigs really do fly in their world.”
Intimidated By Mid-Level Management
A poster commented, “I don’t have a girlfriend because females are too intimidated because of my career.” He was an assistant manager at Outback Steakhouse.
Hopefully, This Doesn’t Happen
This commenter shared, “Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) thought the island of Guam might tip over if too many people got on one side.”
Lord Of The Rings Is Real?
A top-liked comment said, “This girl I was dating and I were hanging out one evening, and we were watching the Lord of the Rings. She asked, “What year did this happen?”
This user recalled, “A friend and his girlfriend were over. Watching some TV when an ad for an Anne Frank documentary comes on. His girlfriend said, “Oh, wasn’t she like Hitler’s daughter or something?” The room became very quiet for a while.”
One person shared, “Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver, “Do y’all take American Dollars?” The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and, with extreme exasperation, said, “You’re in America.”
A poster added, “My college roommate had a bottle of “One-A-Day” vitamins and asked me, “How many am I supposed to take?”
Don’t Need A Rooster
This user stated, “I raise chickens for eggs. You would be surprised how many people don’t understand that you, in fact, do not have to have a rooster to get eggs.”
In Only Two Years
Finally, a user said, “In grad school (PharmD), the topic of loan repayments came up. The dean said, “Well, you all will be making 100k a year on average, so you will be able to pay off 200k of debt in 2 years.”
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