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Are You Kidding Yourself? Heart vs. Heat: Deciphering True Love and False Infatuation

In the beginning, deciphering between love and infatuation can be a very difficult thing to do. However, infatuation tends to be intense, driven by physical attraction and surface-level qualities. More often than not, infatuation is short-lived and can be characterized by the idealization of the other person. On the other hand, love develops over time, deepening as you get to know someone’s character, values, and imperfections. It prioritizes the well-being and growth of both individuals, emphasizing emotional connection, trust, and long-term commitment.

Time Perspective

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Love tends to deepen and grow over time, while infatuation often feels intense but fades relatively quickly. Love develops into a lasting and profound bond that withstands the test of time.

Acceptance of Imperfections

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Love embraces your partner’s flaws and quirks, whereas infatuation often idealizes them, overlooking imperfections. Love finds beauty in imperfections and appreciates the uniqueness of your partner.

Long-Term Commitment

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Love involves a desire for a long-term commitment and future together, whereas infatuation may focus more on the present and immediate gratification. Love envisions building a life together and making lasting memories.

Emotional Depth

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Love fosters a deep emotional connection and understanding, while infatuation can be more shallow and focused on physical attraction. Love delves into the depths of emotional intimacy and connection.

Mutual Growth

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Love encourages personal growth and supports your partner’s development, whereas infatuation may be more self-centered, seeking personal satisfaction. Love is a partnership that nurtures growth for both individuals.


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Love provides a stable and consistent emotional connection, whereas infatuation can be erratic and driven by highs and lows. Love offers a sense of security and emotional stability.

Respect for Boundaries

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Love respects boundaries and personal space, while infatuation may lean towards possessiveness and jealousy. Love values individual freedom and trust.


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Love promotes open and honest communication, while infatuation can lead to excessive or superficial conversations. Love encourages deep and meaningful dialogue about hopes, fears, and dreams.

Weathering Challenges

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Love endures challenges and hardships, while infatuation may wane when faced with difficulties. Love is the anchor that helps couples navigate storms together.


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Love prioritizes your partner’s well-being and happiness, whereas infatuation may prioritize your own desires and needs. Love is selfless, putting your partner’s happiness on an equal footing.


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Love involves empathy and caring for your partner’s feelings, while infatuation may focus more on satisfying your desires. Love goes beyond self-gratification, seeking to understand and support your partner’s emotions.


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Love integrates your partner into your life and social circle, while infatuation may keep the relationship more secluded. Love welcomes your partner into all aspects of your world.

Conflict Resolution

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Love involves healthy conflict resolution, while infatuation may lead to avoidance or unnecessary drama during disagreements. Love seeks to resolve conflicts constructively, valuing compromise and understanding.


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Love is built on trust and a strong foundation of mutual respect, whereas infatuation may be characterized by insecurity and suspicion. Love trusts in the sincerity and commitment of the relationship.

Realistic Expectations

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Love has realistic expectations of your partner, recognizing their humanity, while infatuation may have idealized, unrealistic expectations. Love values authenticity and embraces imperfections as part of the human experience.

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