Bringing home a new baby is never easy. Whether it’s your first baby or third baby, there’s always an adjustment period and new bumps in the road of parenthood. This father is learning that baby weight is not something you bring up.
The adjustment period can take a long time to smooth itself out, especially if it’s a second or third child with older children to care for as well.
Parents need to work together and support each other. Support for each other can look different at times, whether it be emotional, mental, or physical support.
Still, the last thing one partner needs to do is try and bring the other down about any aspect of parenting. This can often lead to resentment and fights. One Redditor found this out after having his second child.
The Baby Weight Issue
The original poster (OP) and his wife have been married for 9 years and have 3 children, ages 7 old and 2-year-old twins. He says that his wife lost her baby weight pretty fast after their firstborn and didn’t gain much to start. He also says that his wife has always been petite and that before their twins were born, she was around 120-125 lbs, but now she is now 180 lbs.
He feels that she has shown no attempt to lose weight after the birth of their twins and no longer goes to the gym. He says she used to be in the gym 4 days a week. Recently, he said that she was complaining her new jeans no longer fit, and OP pointed out that she still has her baby weight.
The Wife Reacts
OP’s wife got upset over this and said he called her unattractive, but OP feels that is not the case. He says he finds his wife very attractive, but she keeps sizing up in her jeans and then acts confused as to why.
He says they’re very open with each other, so he didn’t think she’d be as offended as she was. He went on to tell her he thinks she is beautiful, and it wasn’t supposed to be an insult, but she became very defensive and said she carried two babies in her body, and what did he expect? OP says his wife is now sleeping as far away from him in bed as she can and has an attitude toward him.
People Weigh In
People were quick to jump into the comment section of this one and give their opinion on the baby weight comment.
One said, “How would someone with three kids have the time to work out 4 days a week? Have you made arrangements for childcare so your wife has the same opportunities she had before bringing three human beings into the world?”
A second said, “YTA As someone with almost 2 year old twins, I can tell you my body is not what it was. I had single pregnancies before the twins, and they did nothing to my body compared to what the twin’s pregnancy did. She knows why her jeans aren’t fitting. You don’t need to point it out.”
A third put it bluntly and said, “YTA. Three kids. When exactly is she supposed to get to the gym? When was the last time she was even able to go to the bathroom alone? Or take a bubble bath? Go for a walk alone or drink a glass of wine without needing to deal with kids? I’m not even going to ask how much parental responsibilities you shoulder so she has downtime. Your “honesty” sounds like judgment. Go apologize.”
Another said, “Do you look exactly the same as 9 years ago? Anywho: YTA”
One user had this to say, “Women give up their bodies to carry children, gain weight, stretch marks if they’re lucky they won’t suffer pelvic organ damage, lose career opportunities and wages. The list goes on.”
“Your wife deserves someone who will recognize the struggle of pregnancy and postpartum life, and your children need to see you lifting her up, not pointing out her weight.”
Finally, “Your wife gave birth to your three children. Always love her regardless of her size. She gave her body for your children; you can give up your vanity for her sake.”