Cheating: The Top 20 Reasons Why People Became Unfaithful In Their Relationships
Cheating on a partner can happen for many reasons. Cheating is commonly the root of complex emotional and psychological issues that may darken a person’s mind and cause them to make poor choices. Motivations behind infidelity can differ depending on the situation. Some people seek excitement outside their relationship, while others might be driven by a lack of fulfillment or emotional intimacy in their current relationships.
Being Accused
One Redditor shared, “I cheated in a long-term relationship once. I was constantly being accused of it, and constantly defending myself and trying to prove my fidelity. When the chance came to cheat, I thought, “Well, I’m being punished for nothing. Might as well do something to deserve it.”
Resentment
A second Redditor added, “He cheated on me. I forgave him. He promised to change, and I gave him a chance. He didn’t change. So I went out and cheated out of resentment.”
Logic And Excuses
A third Redditor said, “I was driven to cheat by the logic and excuses in my head at the time. I became convinced he (my husband) didn’t pay attention to me, our marriage was probably failing, that he didn’t provide for me like, I felt I deserved, that he had hurt me so badly in the past, etc., that it was only fair that I seek out someone who would find me sexy and pay attention to me who had never caused me any pain.”
Payback
This user mentioned, “I cheated on my wife of 5-ish years. I cheated for several reasons, but one of the primary ones was that she had cheated on me.”
Emotional Abuse
A commenter shared, “I’ve never had a lot of confidence. So calling me stupid, freaking out about little stupid things, and threatening divorce nearly every day (including the day after we were married) took its toll on me.”
Betrayal
A user added, “I met someone online, and we talked a lot. We never thought of each other as more than friends, but there were some lewd pictures swapped, as well as inappropriate conversations. At this point, I’d like to say that it was still cheating, even though I didn’t sleep with anyone. It was in the betrayal.”
Considering It
One user shared, “I’m thinking of doing it. Why? Because my wife just doesn’t want s**** anymore, and it’s been 13 years without s****. I was hoping that things would change, but I realize they won’t. The rest of the relationship is good, but for this one area.”
Emotionally Distant
This Redditor commented, “I left my wife for someone else. I was married for about 5 years. My wife and I had good times and bad times – but emotionally, she was very distant for the entirety of the marriage. This comes from her family background, history, etc. While she has happy to spend time with friends and watch tv together, she was very rarely interested in being intimate (s**** rarely, kissing never).”
Seeking Attention
A poster added, “I cheated because my wife had nothing to do with me except when my paycheck came in so she could spend it. She would refuse to touch me most days or talk to me cause she was busy with work or friends. I was in Afghanistan, and she (the girl I cheated with) was one of the few people I could talk to.”
Cold And Uncaring
A top-liked comment said, “She was a cold, uncaring b****h. I divorced and am now married to the woman I cheated with.”
Need For Intimacy
This Redditor added, “She completely changed on me. We could be in the same room for hours without her acknowledging I was there. The s**** was scripted. I begged for her to even hold my hand once in a while, but it fell on deaf ears. I HATED that I was cheating, but I needed some form of human contact I was denied by my ex-wife. I later discovered she was having an affair before I started mine.”
Old Flings
A user said, “I had s****l relations with a married man, and I think I have a pretty good idea why we did what we did. We were both each other’s first love and were together for an on-and-off period of time in the early years of high school. We met in church and never had the opportunity to be as promiscuous as we had the urge to be. He treated me like a princess and always talked about how I would be the “one that got away.”
Boredom
One Redditor shared, “I created a lot of ‘reasons’ when doing it, but in truth, I was just bored. I missed the excitement of first being with someone, the attention. I felt like my significant other didn’t pay me enough attention, but in hindsight, while that may have been true, it was just as much my fault as it was his. I didn’t want to break up with him because of our life together, but I wanted something new. I tried justifying it so many different ways, but in the end, I did a horrible thing. I wouldn’t say I am a sh*tty person, but I did a really sh*tty thing.”
Being Ignored
This user said, “I blamed her. She ignored me. She ignored my efforts to make myself and her happy. I asked why she ignored me, and she could never give me a definitive answer. All I wanted to do was love her, but it seemed like she couldn’t, or didn’t want to, love me back. I felt nothing when I cheated the first time. Eventually, she started paying more attention to me. I became an a****ole. She left me, and I didn’t care.”
Weak
A commenter added, “I thought it was because my wife didn’t make me feel like I was desirable, and this girl was beautiful, and she was all over me. In the beginning, I let that girl know that I was married and I wasn’t looking for something more, but she didn’t back off, and I was (am?) weak and fell for it.”
Uncertainty
One Redditor said, “Honestly, I still don’t know why. It wasn’t anything to do with her or the relationship. I was just a complete tosspot. It happened on vacation, and I told her when I got home. We split up for a few months, then tried the relationship again. We dated on and off for three years after that, but it was never going to work after that, as much as we tried.”
Under The Influence
A user stated, “I kissed somebody else when I was drunk and upset. We were in a long-distance relationship for 2 years, and about halfway through, things were really tough. I was accused constantly, called horrible names every day, and couldn’t leave the house without starting an argument. So one day, after an argument, I got really drunk and ended up kissing my housemate. I immediately felt wrong. I left and just started crying my eyes out. I never told her, and I vowed to be the best boyfriend after that, but nothing I ever did was good enough.”
Coping Skills
This poster added, “My husband has always struggled with anxiety and anger management. One of the ways he would release anxiety or pent-up aggression was via porn or going to strip clubs. I never really thought it was that big a deal. I still don’t, to be honest. But eventually, the porn and strippers were more of a distraction, and the thrill was lost. At that point, he apparently started going to body rubbers. And when that stopped being as big a rush, he upgraded to escorts.”
Broken
A user shared, “I cheated in EVERY relationship I ever had before I met my current fiance. I am relatively young, so I always chalked it up to the relationships not being “real” (even though they were serious). I was also not getting what I needed sexually; for some reason, my partners always ended up being much less experienced than I, and the sex was lackluster. The guilt of cheating ate at me for a while, but I eventually convinced myself I was a broken person who would never love anyone wholly and properly.”
Lust
Finally, a Redditor added, “Lust, pure and simple. I chased the excitement of meeting and pursuing someone new, and it was like a drug to me.”
Source: Reddit
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