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A Messy Situation: Mess Creates a War Over Who Will Do The Dishes

Chores seem to be the crux of many living situations, whether it’s with a partner or roommate, no one likes doing them, and usually, one person ends up doing more than the other, which can create a lot of resentment in a living space. One woman recently let her chore frustrations out on her boyfriend’s friend and now wants to know if she was in the wrong for her response.

Dirty Dishes

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The original poster (OP) started by saying, recently. Her boyfriend had his first day off in a few weeks because he had to get a second job to pay his student loans and isn’t home too often anymore.

She says that because of his two jobs, recently, he has really been slacking on his share of the house chores, and he often leaves a mess without cleaning it for days. She feels that because she does her part and often more that she has been leaving his messes for him to clean up. 

His Day Off Takes a Turn

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She goes on to say that on his recent day off, he had 3 of his friends come over to hang out. She said they normally get together on Sunday to watch football, and since she’s not into sports, she doesn’t hang out with them and occupies herself in another room playing games or watching tv.

His Friends Show Up

When his friends arrived that day, her boyfriend greeted them and then went to shower, and she retreated to another room to play some games. After a few minutes of being in the other room, she heard a knock on the door. When she opened the door, she saw one of her boyfriend’s female friends, and the friend then began to tell her that she was trying to cook, but there was no space in the sink, and the dishwasher was full. 

She Responds Unhappily

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OP said she had a little attitude about it, and she responded to her by asking why don’t they just order something or wait until her boyfriend finishes showering so he can wash them? She then said it was not her mess, and her boyfriend left his dishes in the sink all week because he was coming home late. The girl then asked why she couldn’t just come out and do them.

Enough is Enough!

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This annoyed OP and she responded to the girl that she wouldn’t be told what to do in her own house and that if she needed the space, she could put the dishes away and clear the sink. She then ended the conversation by telling the girl to get the f*ck out of her space so she could finish playing her game and closed the door.

The Final Play

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After her game was over, she called her boyfriend and let him know about the exchange that just happened. He responded that he was too tired to deal with the drama right now, but he would wash the dishes and cook after he got dressed. When he came downstairs, OP went out to meet him and found out the girl had left after their exchange. 

The Boyfriend Apologizes to His Friends

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Her boyfriend apologized to his two remaining friends for the mess and explained that he had a busy week and meant to clean up earlier but was asleep. His friends then said to him it wasn’t cool of OP to tell their other friend to eff off. This made OP very angry. She then said she doubled down and told everyone that the girl was not welcome over again until she learned some respect for the homeowner.

The Talk

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After her boyfriend’s friends left, they had a conversation about what happened, and he ended up texting his friends that the Sunday get-togethers at his house weren’t going to happen anymore. OP said she feels bad about what happened and doesn’t want his friends to hate her, but she also feels like she shouldn’t be disrespected in her own home.

The Internet Weighs In

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Redditors weighed in on how the woman handled the situation and whether she was a little too harsh or not with her boyfriend’s friend.

One Redditor said, “NTA OP. Who the hell told her she could cook at another person’s home and expect you to clean up the mess!? You gave her a reasonable solution, and she has the nerve to be angry at you.”


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A second Redditor said, “Imagine telling someone, as a guest, mind you, to do the dishes in their home. The audacity!”

A third Redditor said, “NTA – Dude, this whole story is weird. Your BF showered with guests over? His guests had the nerve to try and put you to work even when you weren’t entertaining them by staying in your office. And they are using your appliances without any of you in the room?”

So Bizarre

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To which another Redditor responded, “It’s definitely bizarre. I couldn’t imagine disturbing someone in their office asking them to wash the dishes so I could cook in their kitchen.”

Another user said, “NTA. If BF is too tired to clean up his mess, he is too tired to entertain guests.” Redditors sided with the girlfriend and felt all of her boyfriend’s friends were actually pretty rude. What is your take? Do you think the girlfriend made the right word choice? 

Source: Reddit

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