Two women and a man standing behind them. All looking serious

When Does Encouragement Cross the Line to Being Pushy? He Wants his Girlfriend to Apologize for Being Rude to His Sister, Who Called Her Out.

This brother demands an apology from his girlfriend to his sister because she was being “disrespectful” to his sister.

Here is the girlfriend’s story: In a recent thread titled “AITA for being “disrespectful” to my boyfriend’s sister?” a Redditor asked Reddit to let her know if she was out of line for what happened between her and her boyfriend’s sister. 

The Dislike of Boats

The original poster (OP) started the thread off by giving some background about her boyfriend’s life.

OP’s boyfriend’s mother passed away when he was 11 years old. His older sister, who was 17 at the time, took over the role of “mother” for him, and because of this, OP’s boyfriend and his sister have a very close relationship. 

OP says they also are very different people, and he is much more reserved than she is. She mentioned how before they met, he spent a lot of his weekends gaming and/or just hanging out with a small group of friends. Whereas OP was more social and went out more often, and she wants to enjoy the time off she has. OP also says she feels she has broken him out of his shell a bit.

Recently OP’s boyfriend invited his friends, father, sister, brother-in-law, and niece over to watch football. The topic of vacations was brought up, and OP mentioned she was trying to convince her BF to go on a 2-day, local cruise as he’s never been on one. OP’s boyfriend said he’s not the biggest fan of boats.

OP responded that he’s never been on one and that they could rent one to take out so he could get used to it. OP’s boyfriend was still hesitant but she and his friends pushed him to try.

At this point, the sister of OP’s boyfriend said “If he doesn’t want to go, then I’m sure you can find something else to do.” OP said she was pretty sure she could talk him into it. His sister then asked why she would want to go if he really didn’t want to. OP responded that she would never try to force him to go, but it’s just something to think about. She repeated that he doesn’t like boats and that OP should respect that.

OP rolled her eyes and said she needed to relax, she’s not his mother, and she shouldn’t care this much about the situation. 

OP mentioned that her boyfriend’s sister was visibly upset but dropped the conversation, the subject got changed, and OP thought all was well.

Apology Needed

A bit later, OP’s boyfriend asked for her help getting something out of his room. Once in there, he told her she was out of line for how she spoke to his sister. OP fired back that she (sister) was the one that was getting up in our business and that, clearly, his dad did not push him hard enough to try new things.

OP’s boyfriend then said she was being disrespectful and needed to apologize to his sister, to which OP laughed at him and said no; OP’s boyfriend then asked her to leave.

The Reddit World Weighs In

Redditors were quick to point out the OP’s flairs and give their opinion on how she reacted.

One Redditor said, “You’re saying “I managed to break him out of his shell,” says a lot here. It seems like you’re constantly pushing him to do things he wouldn’t necessarily do otherwise, and I think this is not healthy. What’s wrong with being shy and not wanting to do some things? Your way isn’t the only correct way. And you did push him on this occasion too, and you were being disrespectful to his sister.”

A very popular response stated, “OP, you are wearing him down and holding his feeling for you over his head to get him to do things he simply does not want to do but is too afraid to tell you he doesn’t like it, and no. Anyone that cares about him or sees your behavior should and would be calling you out. Including the friends you mentioned. It just so happened to be his sister, who he just so happens to be close to, who you just so happen to be jealous of. YTA.”

A third Redditor said, “Yeah, the one bit that specifically bothered me is how OP said that Zack likes to play video games or hang out with a small group of friends, whereas OP likes to “go out and enjoy her time off.” Implying that you can’t actually enjoy time off unless you go out and do things. I know that I’m biased because Zack seems a lot like me, but that seems like a classic case of “extrovert can’t comprehend introvert.”

At a high level, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to push your partner to try new things within reason. The key term is within reason. But from this post, it honestly seems like OP holds disdain and loathing for Zack’s lifestyle and is trying to “fix” him, and that really upsets me. YTA, OP”

Another Redditor had this to say, “ Worse, she said to his sister that raised him after his mother died that “You’re not his mother.” Bringing up her boyfriend’s dead mother was a poor thing to do. YTA.”

A Redditor responded to the above comment with this, “This is exactly what upset me the most. She raised him, so she IS his mother figure. OP was completely disrespectful of their relationship.”

What do you think? Was the OP/GF out of line for pushing her BF to do things he didn’t want to do and then talking to his sister the way she did?

We hope you enjoyed this Reddit thread. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon.

This article was produced and syndicated by Neon Moon. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon.

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