My House, My Rules. A Couple Each Taking An Opposite Side in a Bad Breakup
You are who your friends are. Does this ring true? His friend cheated, left her and her baby, and now this girl’s boyfriend doesn’t allow her to go over.
There’s a saying that is something along the lines of “my house, my rules,” and guests are supposed to abide by the house rules. However, what if it’s “my house too, my rules too”? One Redditor is seeking the opinions of the internet to find out if the house he owns and pays all the bills for is still fair game for his girlfriend to bring whomever she wants to the house they share.
OP’s (Original Poster’s) girlfriend may find herself in the same position as the friend she brought over to their house if they can’t find a solution to their issue.
The original poster says his friend recently went through a pretty nasty divorce. The friends that got divorced have a 1-year-old child together, and things weren’t working between them.
He said there were some issues with attraction, and his friend felt like the relationship was getting monotonous and that he became interested in pursuing other relationships. He then said his friend found a spark with a coworker who’s now his current girlfriend, and the whole thing became a huge mess.
The friend’s wife got child support and alimony from her ex, but there were issues with how his family structured their trust, which meant that she left a lot on the table financially. He then goes on to say his friend’s ex-wife isn’t in any way living below the poverty line.
OP went on to say he didn’t think that he and his girlfriend would be seeing much more of his friend’s ex-wife because they weren’t terribly close, and she was more friendly with OP’s girlfriend than he was with her. There’s no real reason the ex-wife would need to have any more contact with OP and his girlfriend.
The Hang Outs
However, OP recently learned that his girlfriend has been getting together and commiserating with his friend’s ex-wife but didn’t explain why. This has caused some conflict in OP and his girlfriend’s relationship, which he says he has tried to avoid deliberately, but now their divorce is leaking into their life and relationship.
OP says his girlfriend keeps bringing up how unfair what his friend did was and how he’s barely paying anything while his friend’s ex-wife and child struggle to make ends meet.
OP says despite his stance that their divorce is none of his and his girlfriend’s business, he says his girlfriend has become passive-aggressive and downright disregardful to his friend when he is around.
OP feels like even though his friend has done nothing to his girlfriend to warrant this behavior. He said his girlfriend had even brought his friend’s ex-wife to their house while he and his friend were hanging out.
The Blow Up
When OP confronted his girlfriend about this, she responded that she is allowed to have guests whenever she wants to. This led to a heated exchange between OP and his girlfriend. After he confronted her about this, she responded that she was glad to know he and his friend were having fun eating edibles and playing video games like children while his friend’s ex-wife was exhausted from taking care of their child alone and struggling financially.
OP said that the house they are living in is the house that his parents gifted him when he graduated college. He went on to say he pays all the utility bills and home financials, and he’s letting his girlfriend stay there because her roommates didn’t want to renew the lease from the previous property they were renting.
OP feels that his girlfriend is trying to frame the situation like he’s not allowing her to see her friends, which he feels is absurd because she and the ex-wife initially weren’t terribly close friends. He feels as though his girlfriend is completely in the wrong here and feels like she is wrong for bringing his friend’s ex to the house at all.
The Masses Weigh In
Redditors gave their opinions on this messy friendship divorce situation and how OP should handle it moving forward.
One Redditor said, “YTA Find better friends and learn about how to stand up for what’s right from your girlfriend. Gentle YTA to a girlfriend because she shouldn’t bring ex over while a-hole is actually there. That is not always a safe move.”
A second Redditor said, “My friend is a cheater, and my GF knows it and is upset I keep that type of company.” There I fixed the title for you YTA.”
A third Redditor said, “I think OP’s GF needs to take a hard look at the kind of person OP is. YTA op, and so is his deadbeat dad friend.”
Another snarky Redditor said, “So… you’re on the side of the guy who got bored with his wife and left her to date a co-worker after she had a baby?”
A user had this to say, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It doesn’t bother him because he’d do the same thing. Obviously, grew up entitled.”
Another user said this, “YTA hard. If I were his girlfriend, I wouldn’t be pulling this passive-aggressive move of inviting the ex-wife over to make a point. My point would be made when I moved all my stuff out ASAP. “
Finally, a Redditor bluntly put it and said, “YTA.. “MY house that my parents bought me. Also, your friend thought having a wife/child was monotonous, so he cheated with a coworker… He now pays limited child support while she struggles to raise the child.”
Redditors believe the OP should really consider dropping his friend more than his girlfriend. Being friends with a known cheater isn’t a good look. What is your opinion? Should OP drop the friend? Does the girlfriend have a right to be friends with the ex-wife?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon.
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