groom in a tux with a red flower

Do Men Want To Help With Planning Their Wedding?

In recent years, traditional gender roles and expectations surrounding weddings have evolved, leading to a more inclusive and open-minded approach to the planning process. Nowadays, many men embrace seeking help when it comes to organizing their wedding day. Recognizing the significance of this milestone event, grooms-to-be have become more involved in every aspect of the preparations.

Food & Groomsmen

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One poster commented, “We went with an inclusive venue. They did a lot of the actual legwork. All we had to do was pick foods from their menu, go to a cake tasting/design meeting, give them playlists for pre/post ceremony and the reception, and arrange our clothes. Of those tasks, I did the cake tasting, menu selection, and grooms side of the clothing.”

More Help From Mom

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A second poster said, “Her mother helped more than I did. The bride’s mother often gets the wedding for her daughter that she wanted for herself. I had offered to help as much or as little as she wanted, which was rather little.”

Literally Nothing

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A third poster added, “I did pretty much zero when it came to planning any part of the wedding. I’m also divorced now too.”

Neither Of Them Planned

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This person shared, “Neither of us wanted to plan a wedding, so we just did a courthouse wedding. Wedding parties are a waste of money. I just took the money we would have spent and threw it towards a house and another car.

One Foot In, One Foot Out

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Someone recalled, “I was pretty involved with planning my wedding. There were things I was excited about and things I couldn’t care less about. For example, I was excited to pick out the menu and alcohol options. I was not excited about picking out flowers but feigned excitement for her.”

Heavily Involved

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This user mentioned, “I was super involved, probably did at least half the planning. Helped research venues, went to the tastings to pick the catering, helped think of theme and decoration touches, handled the DJ and playlist, organized the guest list, and sorted the tables… I could go on.”

Everyone Noticed His Involvement

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A top-liked comment said, “Oh yes, we were on a budget that I was dead set on sticking to so we wouldn’t go into debt! I was involved in almost every meeting, and florists and photographers, and everyone noticed!”

Team Work

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One person recalled, “I’m sure this is a wildly different perspective coming from a gay couple, but we each took ownership of the areas that we cared more about and compromised on everything else. The only thing I was hard on was setting the budget, and the only thing that was nonnegotiable for my partner was having the ceremony itself near some kind of large body of water.”

More Involved Than Others

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A poster commented, “ I was pretty involved, but we didn’t have much money, so we had to budget and plan together. However, I did have a few guys (coworkers and such) think it was odd I was so involved. Depends on your sitch, I guess.”

Helped With Food

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This commenter added, “I really only helped with food choices and the officiant. We don’t go to church, but I wanted the person doing our ceremony to be someone we knew.”

Both Have Their Say

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A top-liked comment said, “Not married yet, but getting married in September. She has certainly put in more effort than I have, not by much, though. We’ve both had a say in our decisions. We both had the same venue in mind, so that was easy. I arranged the photographer and videographer, and she arranged the DJ and florist. I give her a lot of credit for taking care of the save the dates, invitations, and thank yous from our bridal shower.”

Not That Much

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This person stated, “Not that much. I was consulted on some stuff and vetoed a few things. The day of the wedding, I helped a lot setting stuff out and setting stuff up, but in general, women care about the wedding, men care about the marriage.”

Venting Board

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A user mentioned, “I think my BIGGEST contribution was just being attentive to her venting about her mom (and mine) being very overbearing and taking the whole shindig and running with it. And listening to her “oh my god, my mom is driving me insane” rants and trying to take some pressure off in that regard.”

Part Of Every Step

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Someone said, “VERY! I think I had input and was part of the process of nearly everything. The only thing I didn’t help decide was her dress, the ceremony venue, and the cake. She had long ago fallen in love with a particular bakery, and I was more than happy and impressed with it. When it came to everything else, though, we discussed and came to agreements on everything. Thankfully we usually agreed on most things, and it wasn’t an issue of sacrifice.”

At Least He Tried

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Finally, this user shared, “I tried to be helpful, but none of my ideas were correct. Haha. This was a microcosm of our relationship. I ended up being a figure to bounce ideas off of and help facilitate where people needed to be/do.”

Source: Reddit

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