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Emotional Armor: Emotional Strategies for Avoiding Relationship Deal Breakers

Relationships can be tricky to navigate, and everyone has their own deal breakers when it comes to finding a partner. Some deal breakers are obvious, while others may surprise you. Men and women share their deal breakers in relationships, offering insight into what they simply cannot tolerate in a partner. Read on to discover what they have to say about what it takes to make or break a relationship.


Cheater man smiling at his computer next to an upset woman in bed.
Image credits: Depositphotos Maridav.

To begin, a Redditor said, “Cheaters. There’s no such thing as second chances when it comes to that.”

Another added, “I remember when cheating was a deal breaker for me. Until I fell for a cheater. Now I question if I have any.”

Lack of communication 

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Image credit: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia.

One Redditor wrote, “Lack of communication. Like, literally going without it for days….”

A second Redditor added, “Lived with someone for 2 years and just wanted to test out how long it would take for him to initiate any sort of communication. 2 weeks. Would have settled for a “hi.”

Incompatible values 

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A Redditor replied, “Lack of empathy for anyone but themselves for me is huge. “


Change couple fighting in a parking lot
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A popular comment was, “I’ve dumped a few women for being horrible gossips.”

Self Absorbed 

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A Redditor commented. “Self-centered and only talks about themselves. Had an ex that would turn every conversation into something about her.”


Open-mindedness man showing a thoughtful face
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One user commented, “If they abuse drugs. That’s a no-go.”

Another user wrote, “Addicts who aren’t in recovery. You’re just enabling addiction otherwise.”

Different physical desires

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A popular comment was, “Pushing constantly for physical acts that the other party clearly states they don’t want to do.”


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One Redditor added, “Lying. It is unacceptable in a mature relationship.”

Poor hygiene 

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A most-liked comment was, “Lack of hygiene is big. Don’t even talk to me if you don’t wash your stank butt or brush those teeth DAILY.”

Another popular comment was, “Hygiene. Some guys do not know how to wash their stuff.”

Different priorities 

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A person wrote, “Different lifestyles and values.”

Picky Eaters

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One Redditor replied, “Picky eaters. Cooking for them or choosing where to go out would only upset me.”

A second Redditor added, “I was married to a picky eater. It did not go well.”

Hate towards others

Angry man yelling at his phone
Image credit: Depositphotos HayDmitriy.

A popular comment was, “Any kind of hate, whether it be racism, homophobia, being xenophobic, misogynistic, saying bad things about people, especially if they don’t even know the person enough to judge their character. I don’t tolerate any of that stuff.”

Lack of independence 

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A user replied, “Not being independent enough or acting independent enough both emotionally and financially.”

Different life goals 

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One Redditor added, “Different views on whether you want children or not.”


Man holding his face looking shocked
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A user wrote, “Immaturity, in a lot of ways.”

Another user added, “I am not babysitting and will not date someone who is really immature.”

No sense of humor

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A Redditor replied, “Lacking a sense of humor. Adulting is stressful enough, so if you don’t have a sense of humor.. bye!!! Dark humor, childish humor, fart jokes, all of it. Gotta be able to laugh at everything. There’s a time to be serious, but you need to be able to laugh it off later.”

Inability to compromise 

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One user commented, “I’ve learned from experience that a relationship without compromise is doomed to fail. If my partner isn’t willing to meet me halfway and work towards finding solutions that work for both of us, it’s a major red flag for me. It’s important to be open-minded and flexible in a relationship. Otherwise, it’s not a partnership but a power struggle.”

Family issues

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A popular comment was, “Awful Mother-in-Law – I’m not here to spend the rest of my life related to some unhinged middle-aged woman who wants to dictate any part of my relationship or my children’s lives. I’ve read too many horror stories!”

There are a wide variety of deal breakers that Redditors have when it comes to relationships. Some are practical, such as financial stability or being on the same page about having children. Others are more personal, such as incompatible values or lack of trust. Regardless of the specifics, it’s clear that everyone has their own boundaries and standards when it comes to what they will and won’t tolerate in a relationship.

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