911 Text: Users Share Their 20 Best Escape Strategies from Bad Dates
When faced with the need to gracefully escape a bad date, it’s crucial to approach the situation with consideration and care. The best way to get out of a date is to be honest but also gentle, using open communication and showing respect for both your feelings and those of your date. You can try, at least! It doesn’t always turn out that way!
Rewind
A Redditor said, “I started walking backward in the middle of a crosswalk at a busy intersection. We were on opposite sides, and the signal turned to “don’t walk” before she noticed what happened.”
A Child
This Redditor recalled, “I struck up a conversation with a guy over his pet. After a bit of a chat, numbers were exchanged, and a date was set. I regretted agreeing to the date almost right away, but thought, what the heck, it might turn out okay. When the guy shows up at my apartment for the date, he’s an even bigger goober than I remembered. Luckily, my neighbor’s three-year-old daughter (who looks like me) was still hanging around and comes to see who was at the door. The look on the guy’s face was hilarious. He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Something all of a sudden needed his attention elsewhere.”
Cue The Dramatics
One Redditor hilariously said, “You take your phone and scream “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU LET HIM BUILD HIS OWN HELICOPTER” and leave running in tears.”
5 Minutes
A user commented, “From the moment the date begins, you have 5 minutes to decide whether you are going to commit to an entire evening. And if you don’t? It’s no hard feelings, just goodnight, thanks for playing, see you never.”
Moved On Quick
This user said, “A random OkCupid date back in ’09 ended in about 20 minutes with my date telling me she wasn’t into me. Frankly, I wasn’t having all that great of a time myself. We paid our own half of the check, gave each other a friendly goodbye, and went on with our lives. Never saw her again, but damn, I have nothing but respect for that.”
Great Escape
A commenter shared, “Escape call. I get my roommate to call after a pre-determined amount of time and start screaming about aurora borealis in the living room. If all is well with the date, I tell him to lay off the drugs and take a nap. If it’s not going so great, “I’m really sorry, but my drug-addled roommate set fire to the couch. I have to go…”
Found Our Savior
One Redditor recalled, “My friend’s mom tried to set me up with her coworker’s douche son. She wouldn’t leave me alone about it, so I agreed to a date. I met the guy, politely ignored his layered popped collars, and smiled when he went on and on about how awesome he thought he was. When he stopped talking for a minute, I asked, “Would you like to take Jesus as your personal lord and savior”? He said goodbye during dinner, and I never heard from him again.”
The Truth
A user said simply, “I’m sorry, this isn’t working out. I appreciate your time. I hope there aren’t any hard feelings. Bye!”
A Felon
A Redditor recalled, “After meeting a guy online and chatting for a few weeks, we decided to get coffee and maybe a movie. When he showed up, he was nothing like his picture, but I went with it anyways because I knew there were more than looks. Coffee wasn’t going super, but we were right across from the cinema, and he suggested a movie I wanted to see. We enter the cinema, and he casually asks me, “Oh hey. Did you see that police chase on the news last week?” Me, “Uh, no?” “Well, there was one, and I was who the police were chasing.” I immediately thought W.T.F. and that I needed to leave. I politely excused myself to go to the washroom before the show started and booked it straight to my car.’
Catfished
A user shared, “This guy showed up and didn’t look anything like his pictures. Part of me gave him credit for his Photoshop skills. The guy was also probably ten years older than he said he was. Lying is just the absolute worst way to start things off for me. So I just left. We hadn’t ordered anything, so no, I didn’t stick him with a bill.”
Put The Phone Down
This user commented, “I arrived at the restaurant first. My date showed up about 5 minutes late, talking on her cell phone. I figured it must have been important, so I didn’t say anything as she hugged me. We went inside and were seated… all while she was on the phone. It’s about this point in time that I realize she isn’t talking about important stuff; it sounds like she is just bullshi**ing with a friend. The waitress comes by – still, on the phone, we order drinks & an appetizer – still on the phone, the drinks show up – still on the phone! At this point, we are about 10 minutes into the date, and she is still talking. I calmly stand up, reach into my pocket, pull out $20 and place it on the table, turn around, and walk out.”
Leaving On A…Spaceship
A Redditor stated, “On our first date, my now-boyfriend told me that when he wanted to get out of a bad date, he’d check his phone and say, “Oh, hey, that was NASA. I gotta head back to Florida (he’s originally from FL) for the space shuttle launch in the morning. Early flight, you know how it is.”
Pets
This user hilariously shared, “I told him my pet dolphin was sick. I think he may actually believe me too..”
Departed
One Redditor added, “I was on a date where it was obvious to me within 15 seconds that we weren’t right for each other. Since we were just meeting for a drink, we had one round and politely said goodnight. No trickery needed.”
Emergency
A user shared, “Always set the phone alarm to go off around 30 minutes into a date. Walk off to take the call and come back with some family-related emergency. Apologize and depart. Tis nothing fancy but very reliable.”
Oh, Poop
One Redditor recalled, “My friend was on a bad date with a woman in NYC. She was just kind of annoying, nothing truly terrible, but my friend was tired and wanted to go home, but she was persistent about keeping him out. So, while walking down the street, he sees a huge pile of dog poop. He says, “Excuse me for a moment,” and purposefully and slowly steps in the dog poop. He closes his eyes and starts moaning slightly, really working his foot in the dog poop, muttering things like, “Oh yeah, that’s good.” The woman hailed the next cab she saw and never called him again.”
The Gift Of Life
A user shared, “The best way I got out of a bad date was a real one. My cousin was having a kid. So I got to leave that beast of a woman at the park.’
Have Some Fun
This user commented, “I told her she looked uncomfortable – she was a little taken aback, so I said very conversationally, “Tell you what, let’s skip this date and just go have fun.” Took the edge off the tension, went out to a carnival, and just enjoyed the evening. She thanked me. I think we maybe talked once or twice after that but basically went our own paths. Calm, cool, collected folks – that’s the winning strategy.”
Not That Difficult
A top-liked comment said, “I thanked her for her time and apologized that we weren’t clicking and that I didn’t care to drag it out. Shook her hand and left. She was disappointed but appreciated the honesty. Really, it’s not all that difficult.”
Blame The Babysitter
Finally, a Redditor recalled, “I went on a bad date once, in which the guy was cheap and unfunny, and when we got to this club, he basically ordered me to dance with his friends. After we left the club, I had him drive me to a friend’s apartment complex under the premise that I needed to check on her kids, who were being babysat. I returned a few minutes later and told him that the babysitter was passed out drunk, and I was staying. He got really mad and left, and I spent the rest of the night chilling with my (childless) friend.”
Source: Reddit
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