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21 Lessons People Learned From Having Their Hearts Broken

Failures are not truly failures if we learn from them; these words hold profound truth, especially in the context of failed relationships. Though the pain and disappointment of such experiences can be disheartening, they often bestow invaluable lessons that influence our future connections. Embracing introspection, failed relationships provide us with a chance to recognize our own shortcomings and areas for personal growth and improvement.

Share The Effort

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One poster commented, “Mine is not to put in 100% effort if your partner is putting in zero.”

Potential Isn’t Enough

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A second user shared, “Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential. Seeing potential is great, but if the person isn’t living to their potential, don’t waste your time.”

Be Whole

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A third user posted, “Two broken people do not make one healthy relationship. Broken invites broken, be whole with yourself first.”

Direct Communication

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A top-liked comment said, “Be direct. Don’t expect him to figure out things based on the way you say, “I’m fine.” You are not some valiant warrior taking on pain for the greater good of your people. Communicate.”

Long Distance

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One Redditor added, “Long distances can work, but only when both partners commit to communicating regularly.”

In Control

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This user posted, “Sadly, I’ve learned that the one who loves less is the one who controls the relationship….”

Get Out

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One Redditor commented, “Six hours single after a year and a half. If you’re constantly putting in far more than what you’re getting back… it’s probably time to get the f****ck out.”.

Never Settle

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This user recalled, “In 2004, I was 6 cycles into chemotherapy. I didn’t think I would improve, so I married my alcoholic high school sweetheart, who had severe anger issues. I eventually got better and was stuck in a crappy relationship, so the lesson is; never settle. Even if you think you are dying.”


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A poster stated, “Don’t stay with someone just because it’s convenient. Convenience is a killer of relationships.”

Friends With Benefits

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One user mentioned, “Just because he’s your best friend and doesn’t mind sleeping with you does not mean he’ll fall in love with you.”

Be Productive

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This Redditor added, “Put time into the relationship, just not all your time. Wasted so many nights doing nothing with a girl for years until it broke down, and I realized I’d basically done nothing productive since it got serious. The amount of stuff I got done after that blues period passed astounded me.”

Business Partners

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A commenter divulged, “Don’t get into business deals with people you date. We started a ranch together while dating,  got engaged, and we each sunk in pretty much half of what we had. It caused a bunch of issues when we split up.”


You Need to Change:man and woman sitting at a table looking upset.
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This user shared, “Probably that if you make yourself an option instead of a priority, you’ll be nothing but a coward. Still, to this day, I haven’t learned my lesson, so I mope around like a sad puppy. 100% my fault.”

Love vs. In Love

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One user shared, “Being “in love” can mean drastically different things to two people. Make sure you’re on the same page. There’s a difference between “I love you,” and I’m in love with you.”

Don’t Look For Happiness

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A top-liked comment said, “I need to be happy with myself first and not try to find happiness in another person. I wish I realized this prior to getting into a relationship, but here’s to hopes my next relationship is better after the work I’m doing now.”


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This poster added, “Don’t let someone treat you like poo because “they’re insecure.” Also, don’t think you can fix their insecurity.”

Fun Until It’s Not

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A commenter recalled, “Friends with benefits are fun until one of you starts to have real feelings for the other. Always assumed a F.W.B. was a great idea/relationship, but it turned out bad.”

Keys To Success

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A Redditor said, “Communication and openness on all things are key. Hide emotions or thoughts, and you’ve set an expiry date.”



One user mentioned, “When you see someone lie to others easily, realize that they are most likely also lying to you.”

Stay Broken Up

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A poster commented, “If you break up, STAY broke up. It rarely works a second time, especially if there was very little time between the break-up and getting back together.”

You Come First

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Finally, this Redditor shared, “Falling in love with someone is to enhance the world you live in, not be it. You must be happy with yourself before being happy with somebody else.”

Source: Reddit

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