What do you do if your girlfriend keeps planning certain events that you don’t enjoy? Do you tell her that you don’t like it or do you let her carry on as it makes her happy? This is the dilemma currently facing a 21-year-old Reddit user whose girlfriend keeps planning group dates with her friends and their partners. Let’s find out why he doesn’t like them and how he’s planning on telling her…
Just Not His Scene
The original poster (OP) explains that he has been dating his girlfriend for a couple of months and that he has spent much of that time with three of her friends and their partners as she keeps planning group dates with them all.
At first, OP didn’t mind them as he gets along with all of her friends and their partners, but they are becoming so regular now that he finds them tedious. According to OP, he is hanging out with this group at least twice a week, and would rather spend time alone with his girlfriend.
To try and get around the situation, OP has started to try and plan dates of his own such as going to the movies or going to a theme park. However, every time he asks, his girlfriend replies saying “Yeah, sounds good, let me ask x, y, z”. It’s really getting him down, and he doesn’t know what to do.
The latest development is that the group is planning on going on vacation together and OP really doesn’t want to go. He is aware that he is probably the only person in the group who isn’t keen, so he doesn’t want to let his girlfriend down, but at the same time, he wants to tell her how he really feels.
Taking to Reddit, he wanted to know if this was an issue that he should ignore or address with his girlfriend.
Communication is key
The Reddit community were on hand to advise OP the best they could with the general consensus being that he needed to be upfront and honest with his girlfriend otherwise, the situation is only going to escalate. One user said:
“What happens when you say “no, I just want some one on one time with you for this one”? Open your mouth and communicate instead of complaining to strangers!”
Others were quick to reassure OP that it wasn’t a “him” issue, with one user saying:
“It’s not a “you” problem, it’s a relationship problem. If you keep going down the path of being frustrated and silent, do you imagine that will be good for your relationship?
It’s ok to have and want different types of dating and socializing in a relationship. I imagine your gf really enjoys these fun group dates that she has with her boyfriend.
But you’re not the same person, and it’s ok to not thrive on them like the others do.”
Perhaps the best comment came from someone who made the point that it is possible to enjoy both types of dates. They said:
“It’s not all or nothing. If you tell your girlfriend you’d like to have some time with just the two of you, it’s more likely. You can have time that’s just for the 2 of you. You can still have some group dates too.”
How would you go about telling your partner if you weren’t happy about them organizing group dates all the time? Let us know in the comments.
We hope you enjoyed this Reddit thread. This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon.
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