When Good Intentions Go Wrong: His Gesture of Flower Showering Results in Her Family’s Perception of Showboating

It’s important to make your partner happy, and it makes for a good solid relationship. Making your partner happy doesn’t always have to be big expensive outlandish gestures. Sometimes it can be a simple “I love you text” or a note in their lunch letting them know you appreciate them. 

One Redditor set the bar really high with his current girlfriend but feels now it’s a bit of a tradition for them, and they both enjoy it. However, some of her family members think he’s being a bit of a show-off because of their tradition and feel that he’s making waves before he’s even a part of the family. 

3 Dozen Roses

The original poster (OP) begins by saying that he has a high-paying/high-stress job that often requires him to drop everything for travel without notice. He says it can be infuriating at times, but he makes a great living, so he’s learned to live with it. He then goes on to say that his girlfriend loves flowers more than anything. 

He says that early in their relationship, he had to miss something that was important to her without notice but to make up for it, he sent her 3 dozen roses. She loved that he did this and even jokingly told him he had set the bar very high and he had better always send her 3 dozen roses if this were going to happen again. He happily agreed to this.

OP and his girlfriend have been together 3 years since then, and he has always sent 3 dozen roses whenever they were apart and feels like it’s now a tradition, and they both love it. She enjoys that he’s thinking about her while away, and he enjoys that he can make her happy with such a simple gesture. 

Recently, his girlfriend got bad news about a family member’s health and headed back to her hometown. He was unable to go with her due to work but felt that she would have the support she needed at the time because her two sisters and their husbands went home as well. 

A Delivery Delay

Due to his job and her being back home this past Valentine’s day, they were unable to be together. He ordered a gift of 3 dozen roses, candy, and a stuffed animal. Unfortunately, on the day of delivery, he received a notification that the gift would be delayed so he called local florists in her hometown and found one who could deliver them.

Later that day, as it turned out, the original delivery was back on track, and his girlfriend was going to receive the gift that day along with the new order he had placed. His girlfriend ended up with 6 dozen roses, 2 cards, 2 boxes of chocolates, and two stuffed animals. Again, she joked that he had now raised the bar even higher, and she expected no less than 6 dozen roses any time we were apart. OP said she could tell she was thrilled that he had done this for her, and he was happy to make her day in an otherwise awful situation.

Flower Disaster 

The following day, OP said one of her sister’s husbands had contacted him, and he was furious with OP saying he made both of his girlfriend’s sister’s husbands look awful. As it turns out, one of the husbands bought his wife a leftover bouquet of half-dead tulips, and the other didn’t get his wife anything at all. OP’s girlfriend ended up sharing her roses with both of her sisters so they all could feel special, but it was clear they were all from OP.

Later that day, he received a phone call from his girlfriend’s mom/dad. They told him he should apologize to the husbands. While they did appreciate him always making romantic gestures, it was apparent that he was showing off because he could afford to do so while their other daughters’ husbands couldn’t. 

At the end of the conversation with his girlfriend’s parents, they said they could clearly see where things are going between him and their daughter, and it would be a good idea for him to make peace with the other two husbands.

OP says he agrees with her parents that they’re on the road to marriage. But he also feels he never expected her girlfriend’s sister’s husbands to be such awful partners and feels that it’s not his fault the two husbands thought it would be okay not even to bring their wives flowers on Valentine’s Day.

Redditors Weigh In

Redditors gave their thoughts about the roses and whether the OP should need to apologize to his future brother-in-laws. 

One Redditor said, “OP could have sent one rose and still made her sister’s husband’s look bad.”

A second Redditor said this, “OP could send the two husbands a dozen roses each as an apology, it would be the thoughtful thing to do.”

A third Redditor had this to say, “There are plenty of ways to make your spouse feel good without spending a lot of money. This has zero to do with OP’s job and everything to do with the sisters’ husbands being lazy. NTA”

A Redditor also said, “Let’s be honest here. It’s not about the roses. It’s about them not caring and doing anything. You can always make someone smile with a low budget, money isn’t an excuse.”

Another user said, “Those parents…. woof. I cannot imagine seeing this and then going to harass my child’s SO for… making sure she felt special during a difficult time????”

Finally, a Redditor gave this opinion, “NTA – you did not make them look bad. THEY made them look bad. It’s not about the amount of flowers or how much it all cost, but the meaning behind it.”

Redditors let the OP know he was not in the wrong, and giving his girlfriend flowers was a fine gesture, and he does not need to apologize. What are your thoughts? Should the OP have toned it down a little? Were the future BILs just lazy?

This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon. More from Neon Moon:

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