A woman disclosed a pretty big piece of information to her partner about their living situation, and she quickly realized hiding it may not have been the correct move.
We all have secrets we hide from our partners. Some may be innocent little white lies, for example, secretly disliking their favorite show but continuing to watch it with them because it’s time being spent together.
Some of us may have huge lies, and we know they could destroy our relationship. Regardless of how big a lie or secret may or may not be, honesty is always a huge piece of trusting someone you’re in a relationship with.
The Living Situation
The original poster (OP) and her boyfriend recently decided to move in together. She said her boyfriend’s current lease had recently expired, and his roommates were leaving to move in with their partners, so he needed to find a new rental. They’ve been together a little over a year, and after an exhausting search of looking at high-priced rentals, he could not find a place close enough to work that would fit his housing budget. Due to this, she suggested he move in with her since her roommate had just moved out, and it would just be the two of them.
He agreed this would be a good idea and moved in with her about 3 weeks after their initial conversation. She said their issue began a few days after he moved in when he asked how much the rent was, to which she responded that rent wasn’t an issue and that it was just easier for her to continue with how it was before he moved in. She said this surprised him, but they agreed to split the house utilities and groceries 50/50.
She recently had some family over on the weekend for dinner, and her dad asked her about her interest rate and mortgage payment. Her boyfriend overheard this conversation, and after her family left, they argued about their living arrangement. She said he became angry that she didn’t tell him she owned the house he was moving into and thought she was renting. Due to this, he feels as if she lied and deceived him, and he’s upset now because he feels like she betrayed his trust.
OP says she can see where he’s coming from but doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal and that she was eventually going to tell him. She didn’t think she had to tell him at that moment. Most of her friends say that she should have told him before he moved in, but a few of them support her and say that it’s not that big of a deal.
People Weigh In
Redditors gave their opinion on whether or not the woman should have told her boyfriend she owns the house they live in.
One Redditor has this to say, “NTA. You aren’t married to him, you’re not charging him rent, and there’s no pressing need for him to know you’re buying the house. Tell your friends to lay off.”
A second Redditor said, “I don’t understand what his problem is. What about this information is scandalous or negatively affects him? NTA.”
Some Say It Is a Big Deal
A third Redditor took a different perspective, “Owning a home is a pretty big piece of information, and the fact that OP straight up lied for a year is insane. Of course, he is upset. He has every right to be.”
Another Redditor said, “He lives there. It’s an a**hole move not to tell him who owns the place. This response is just so childish. Something tells me: You’re a huge fan of the phrase ‘you’re not obligated.’”
Questioning it All
Finally, a Redditor commented, “I don’t even understand this story. Why would you not share with your boyfriend of over a year that you own the house he just moved in? YTA, in any case, because you don’t hide things from a partner.”
Redditors sent mixed signals with this one. Some felt as though she had every right to hide this from her boyfriend, and others did not. What do you think? Would you have kept such a large secret from your significant other?
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