Saying “I love you” in a relationship too soon can be a double-edged sword. While it may come from a place of genuine affection and excitement, rushing into these three powerful words without truly understanding their depth can potentially create unintended consequences. Love is a profound emotion that should be nurtured and developed over time, built on a foundation of trust, compatibility, and shared experiences.
Case By Case
One commenter said, “I don’t think there is a set “too soon” time. It all depends on the relationship. I said I love you to my wife after knowing her for 3 weeks, but 3 weeks would have been too soon in my prior relationship. It’s case by case.
A second commenter added, “Too soon? Halfway through the first date. But I might believe it if it was phrased right as the evening ended. More like, “I loved hanging out tonight” I don’t know. I guess it’s subjective. I know I’ve said it too soon before!
A third commenter posted, “Realistically, before you’ve gotten to know each other on a deep level. Definitely, if you’ve not yet met in person or if they are attempting to lovebomb you, or during your first few dates/weeks of dating.
When It Doesn’t Feel Natural
This user shared, “I mean, this is a hard one. One month, three months, a year?? I feel like it’s too soon when it doesn’t feel natural. It’s difficult to put an actual timeline on things like this because all people and situations differ.
When You Know, You Know
A poster divulged, “It really depends on the context and the relationship and the couple, but out of all mine, it’s usually around the 1-3 month mark, usually 1 month. Like when you know….you know? But also, anything before 1 month, I feel like it’s way too early unless you’ve known the person a long time before you dated.
Just Say It
Someone added, “Just say it if you feel it. I tell my friends I love them. I tell my family I love them. I tell my hubby I love him, and I even tell my pet fish I love them. Like, don’t hold back on telling people ya love them.”
Not On The First Date
One person shared, “Maybe the first date is a little too soon. But anything after that is fair game if it feels right.”
Before It’s Too Late
A top-liked comment said, “Imagine waiting until it was too late. If you feel it, say it.”
Different For Everyone
This person stated, “My husband said it after 3 dates. 12 years later… we’re still happy. It’s different for everyone. I say if you feel it and are comfortable expressing it… why not?”
A Natural Progression
A user mentioned, “If you’re not sure you actually love them. There’s a difference between love and lust. My partner and I worked our way from “I like you” to “I really like you” to “I care about you so much,” so it was a natural progression to saying “I love you.”
After 90 Days
This commenter posted, “I would be a little freaked if it happened before 3 months. I feel like after 90 days. You can get to know someone a little better.”
Depends On The Person
One poster lamented, “I went on one date with a guy, and he told me he loved me the next day. So that’s too soon. But also, my husband and I got engaged after 5 months of dating. Some guys I dated for upwards of a year and never thought about saying it. I think it all depends on the situation.”
Someone shared, “My current boyfriend of 9 years said it after a week of being a couple. We knew each other for about 9 months previously, though. It was very sweet.
Based On Your Previous Relationship
A top-liked comment said, “I’m in a relationship where we were friends before dating. We only started ‘dating’ this past week. I’m going through some mental sh****t right now and am staying at her place. This morning she kissed me on the way out the door and told me she loved me. It felt natural, so I said it back. Is it too soon in a relationship for it? I don’t think so, based on our situation.
You Can Do It Without Saying It
Finally, someone added, “Loving someone isn’t necessarily the same as being in love with someone. Love can be felt and expressed in all sorts of ways. If you love someone and you feel comfortable doing so, tell them. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, either. Just feel it and express it to them however you feel comfortable; you can do so without saying “I love you,” by the way.
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