We should always celebrate our loved ones, even with a small gesture to show them we care about them. Birthdays may not matter to everyone or as much as we get older, but the people in our lives that love us may still feel that it’s a special day to celebrate with us. One woman is learning that even though she may not care all that much for her own celebrations and birthdays, it doesn’t mean that others around her shouldn’t care.
The original poster (OP) recently celebrated her 28th birthday. She says she’s not really into birthdays and holidays but believes in celebrating others and blowing out the day “to the max.” She said this is very well-known to her friends and family members. She goes on to say she’s also the planner and giver in not only her immediate family (husband and kids) but her extended family as well. She said she is the only one that plans birthdays, get-togethers, gifts, travel, and everything else. OP is a stay-at-home mom due to having a child with complex medical and behavioral needs.
The Birthday Situation
Her husband’s birthday was last month, and she said, as usual, she planned something for him, a weekend getaway with their kids a few hours away from their home. For her birthday, she told her husband that she just wanted help with the kids, the house cleaned, a nap, and for him to cook dinner or take her out. She said she was still not feeling well due to just getting over an upper respiratory infection and wanted a low-key day with her family.
On the morning of her birthday, her husband started complaining of a sore throat, so she quickly checked his vitals, throat, and temperature. She said he had no fever, no cough, or other symptoms and that the night before, he had stayed up all night playing video games and talking with his friends. She also said that he decided to nap all day because of how sick he felt. Due to his being unable to help that day, she made her own cake, took care of the kids, and did her usual chores. She said her husband couldn’t even be bothered to tell her “Happy birthday.”
The Birthday Situation Continued…
Later that day, she decided to take the cake and the kids to her parent’s house for dinner so she wouldn’t have to cook that day as well. OP says she was very upset. As she packed the kids up, she decided not to let her husband know they were leaving.
After she was gone, her husband called to ask why they left. She responded that he ruined her birthday yet again, and she was trying to salvage at least a small part of the day. She then hung up on him. He called back a few minutes later, fuming mad, and told her she was overreacting, that he didn’t feel well, and she’s an adult now, and birthdays don’t matter after someone turns 21.
The Internet Weighs In
Redditors quickly gave their opinions and thoughts about this sad birthday situation.
One Redditor said, “NTA, he sounds inconsiderate and like he doesn’t even like you.”
A second Redditor shared, “She planned a weekend away for his birthday?? But I thought no one cares about birthdays after 21….”
A third Redditor said, “Oh, he likes her alright: as a birthday planner, gift giver, and mother of his children. Just not as a person.”
The Internet Weighs In Continued…
Another Redditor said this, “Yeah…he sounds like a jerk. And his priorities are pretty clear. Even if it wasn’t your birthday, you asked for something you needed to feel loved and appreciated, and he didn’t provide it. He’s the ah here, not you.”
A Redditor had this to add, “NTA. You did your job in communicating what you wanted. The fact that he did not show any concern for you shows a lot. Caregivers need care too!”
Finally, a Redditor said, “NTA. Your husband sounds selfish AF if he can’t even take one day, your BIRTHDAY nonetheless, to help around the house and with the kids. It honestly sounds like you’re a parent to yet another child.”
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