In Hindsight: Users Share Red Flags From Former Relationships

Recognizing red flags in any relationship is crucial for growth and healthy well-being. Some common red flags include a pattern of controlling behavior, such as monitoring one’s every move, isolating them from friends and family, or exhibiting possessiveness. Additionally, a history of explosive anger or aggressive behavior, whether physical or verbal, should never be ignored. Other warning signs may include constant negativity, an inability to apologize, take responsibility, or consistently disregarding the other person’s feelings or needs.

Physically Violent

One user recalled, “She came at me with a knife a few times and tried to grab the steering wheel and crash us into a tree.”

Financially Insecure

A second user added, “While we were still dating, she decided to take $100,000 out of her retirement account and take 8 family members (aunts, uncles, grandparents) on a two-week trip to the Grand Canyon. “They’re getting older, and they may never see it in their lifetime, so I want to provide this gift for them.” Yeah, except now you’ve just decimated your retirement.”

Manipulation

A third user stated, “Manipulative behavior disguised as care. This one is so tricky because the manipulation itself tends to hide the red flags!”

Relationship Chamelion

A person shared, “She went out of her way to artificially like everything I liked. Bands, foods, clothing brands, etc. It even went as far as her adopting my exact political beliefs. Weird.”

Playing Games

This poster commented, “Looking back, the fact that my ex treated our relationship like a game of hide and seek – only they were always hiding, and I was constantly seeking – should have been a giant, neon red flag.”

No Savings

A top-liked comment said, “She made 300K in one year and put $0 in savings. She believed she would continually make this money, so there was no rush to have savings.”

Cheating

One poster said, “She lied about all the other dudes she was b*nging when I asked. I guess once a cheater, always a cheater.”

Ran Stale

This user recalled, “She was trying to change who I am, and for the best, we ended it. Looking back, I should have ended it after our third date as I found we had run out of things to discuss.”

Appearance

A person commented, “I watched some dumb movie with my ex where the main character wore a beanie, a grey t-shirt, and jeans throughout the movie. She said she loved that look and bought me a similar beanie and 5 grey t-shirts literally the next day. We didn’t last much longer after that. Weirdo.”

Social Media Addiction

Someone said, “Her need for attention from other men and addiction to social media. “Likes” were her drug, and she was addicted hard.”

Isolating

A commenter added, “She was very pushy in the beginning to get me away from my friends, family, and home. It felt very isolating and lonely even being with her.”

A Good Talker

One user recalled, “He was good with words but not actions. His words started to mean less and less as the relationship continued, but he could talk a good game.”

Gas Lighting

This person said, “He used to say all his ex-girlfriends were crazy. Later, I learned this guy could push you to your limit till you just explode, and he can call you “crazy” and victimize himself.”

Substance Abuse

Someone added, “She couldn‘t stop drinking and using cocaine once she started. I mean, she even tried the wine I used to cook with once all the booze was gone. I had to hide alcohol to keep her in check.”

Abnormal Behavior

A poster commented, “She cared so much more for others. But she was known as the sl****t in college freshman year. That’s when we broke up.”

Second Fiddle

This commenter posted, “He never put me as a priority. It was always his friends who were the priority. I got tired of playing second fiddle to everyone else.”

Attention Seeking

A user recalled, “Body Count, I thought it didn’t matter when it was actually a sign that monogamy wasn’t for her. At first, I thought she was an attention seeker, but, boy, was I wrong.”

Not Normal

Someone added, “He would get alcohol poisoning to the point he would bleed while using the bathroom. I was on some “Ugh, his b*tthole has the gushies again. He can’t catch a break, poor guy” sh****t. Totally unaware this is was not normal.”

Drinking & Driving

This person stated, “She hit me with a car because I said I think you’ve had too many drinks to drive…. I guess I was wrong.”

In Defense Of

A poster recalled, “He said someone told him they wanted to punch me. He didn’t defend me. Like, seriously, I’m your girlfriend, and you won’t stick up for me? Boy, bye.”

Little Lies

One user added, “He lied too often, even about little things like taking the garbage out or making the dog go out at night. He was a very good liar, which was scary,” 

Convenient Break Downs

Finally, a user shared, “Having a mental health crisis at very convenient times, like when I asked to look for work or help around the house. Addressing it only made it worse. I’m so much more at peace now.”

Source: Reddit

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