It’s almost always a little sticky when the best friend is someone who your partner is jealous of, but what do you do if your future wife asks that she not be invited to the wedding?
A Reddit user (32M) is getting married in a few months to his fiance (30F) but isn’t planning on inviting one of his closest friends. His friend is a 24-year-old female, and when he initially started dating his now-fiance, she thought there was something between them and became jealous. Should he ignore his future wife’s jealousy and invite his friend or let her know the situation?
A Problem Rooted in Jealousy
The original poster (OP) explained that he initially became friends with the uninvited guest when he and his partner were living in different locations. Motivated by jealousy, his partner instantly took a dislike to her despite having never met her.
Around this time, OP was spending a lot of one-on-one time with his friend because it was during the coronavirus pandemic and they lived close by to each other while his partner lived miles away. He decided to tell his friend about how his partner felt towards her which made the situation even more awkward.
Whether confiding in his friend about his girlfriend’s feelings was the right decision or not is another debate altogether, but the good news is that after the two women finally met face-to-face they got on reasonably well. OP’s partner accepted that the jealousy was unwarranted and has held an indifferent opinion towards the friend ever since.
However, the situation reared its head again when wedding planning commenced. Once OP and his fiance started sorting out the guest list, she requested that this particular friend wasn’t invited.
As he doesn’t want to upset his future wife, OP agreed but now feels bad because every other friend in that social circle is invited. He was searching for advice because while he is committed to not inviting her, he wanted to know whether to specifically tell her why she isn’t invited or to just not invite her without saying anything.
Reddittors Weigh In
OP perhaps got more than he bargained for when he posted his issue on Reddit with many commenters questioning whether he was telling the whole story. One person said:
“I can’t believe people think we are getting evenly slightly a portion of the whole story. There must be something different about this friend – how you act, talk about her, inappropriate texting. Would love to hear the fiances side.”
Fortunately for OP, some people did take his words at face value and provided him with some sound advice. One of the top responses was:
“The courteous thing to do would be to tell her. You can lie and say there were a limited number of guests and you had to make hard choices blah blah blah, but she’ll soon work out the real reason when she finds out she was the only one excluded from your friend group.”
Should OP tell his friend why she isn’t invited or let her figure it out for herself? What would you do in this situation?
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