Breaking up even when there are still feelings involved, can happen for various reasons beyond the obvious issues of cheating or abuse. This topic is intriguing because many believe that love alone can sustain a relationship, but that’s not always the case. It’s important to explore the complexities of why some relationships don’t work out, even when love isn’t the primary factor contributing to the breakup.
Different Life Goals and Priorities
To start, a reader said, “They don’t share core values. They have different life goals.”
Another simply said, “Different goals.”
Constant Fighting or Lack of Communication
A user replied, “Communication, not being able to talk through stuff, it is actually surprising that a lot of broken bonds can even be fixed with a simple talk.”
Lack of Effort or Investment in the Relationship
A poster wrote, “You just fall out of love. It is probably the biggest reason that usually branches into infidelity.”
Growing Apart Over Time
One reader added, “Growing apart as opposed to together. Sometimes it just wasn’t meant to be.”
Mental Health Issues or Differences
A popular comment was, “Mental illness/unresolved childhood trauma.”
Another popular comment was, “Relationships are a team mentality game. Everyone involved has to know everyone else is there to work together as a team.”
Incompatibility in Interests or Values
One commenter replied, “Sometimes your values and interests just do not line up enough to stay together forever.”
Lack of Physical Attraction
A user added, “Incompatibility in the bedroom.”
Distance or Geographical Separation
A simple comment read, “They want to move to different places.”
Another said, “Relatedly, immigration laws, especially if you’re unmarried or living under the same roof.”
Financial Stress or Disagreements
A reader replied, “One high cause is finances.”
Another simple comment was, “Money and how it is spent.”
Pressure from Family or Friends
A simple comment was, “Overbearing family.”
Another person added, “If that family is telling the spouse to leave after every little petty argument even though that family member has been in a toxic marriage/relationship for many years and hasn’t left THEIR spouse. Family getting into personal marriage problems only make it worse, especially if the family doesn’t like the spouse.”
Trust Issues or Betrayal
One person replied, “My ex-wife swears up and down that I cheated, and I just let her believe that. She doesn’t have to blame herself as much that way. What really happened was a combination of growing up and apart and realizing I wasn’t the kind of guy she needed.”
Addiction or Substance Abuse
A simple comment was, “Addiction in general.”
Another person added, “Maybe she’s a lying alcoholic who’d rather go out and party and get drunk with her friends than hang out with her boyfriend, so he decides to go party with his friends, and they end up hardly seeing each other… or something like that.”
A reader wrote, “Crossing boundaries. If you have set a boundary or rule that is not to be crossed, and it gets crossed, it’s pretty hard to repair that trust when you feel disrespected.”
A most-liked comment was, “Timing. Sometimes people aren’t in a place where they can commit to a relationship. Sometimes work and family responsibilities need attending to, and that doesn’t leave much time to attend to a relationship.”
Fear of Commitment
One poster wrote, “When we first started dating, we talked about marriage, and both agreed we wanted to. Six and a half years later, he tells me he never wants to get married. So we broke up. I feel like I wasted so much time with him.”
A most-liked comment was, “When they move to a new place for their dream job.”
Another was “when they put their job before everything and then realize they have nothing left but their job.”
Past Traumas or Unresolved Issues
One sad comment was, “My first ex and I loved each other a lot, but he came back from Afghanistan with horrible PTSD that he refused to get treatment for. He developed a drinking problem, and even though the love was there, it just wasn’t healthy. I stuck it out for 3 years after he returned, but eventually, I had to leave. Turns out he ended up sobering up and mostly getting his **** together when I left. I think it was a shock to his system. So I’m happy for him.”
Differences in Parenting Styles or Desires for Children
A user added, “One wants to have kids, and the other doesn’t.”
Another said, “Parenting differences. If you have one each of permissive and authoritarian, they often become more different as they try to compensate for the other “wrong parent” and can grow to resent one another.”
Change in Life Circumstances or Unexpected Events
A most-liked comment was, “Circumstances beyond your control. A new job in a new city, a death in the family, or falling in love with other people can all be valid reasons for breaking up.”
Loss of Passion or Spark in the Relationship
Finally, a reader wrote, “You become more like platonic roommates than romantic partners… sometimes that spark just burns out, and if one isn’t willing to put in the work to light it again, it can end.” Source: Reddit
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