The Top 20 Mistakes Women Often Make in Their Quest to Win Over a Man
Dating is hard. Many people go on dates and then never hear back from the other person. People can go days, weeks, or even months wondering what they did wrong or why they were ghosted.
Women often seem to take it the hardest and often continue to try to figure out what they need to change about themselves, their personalities, etc., to land their perfect match. Recently someone asked the question, “What mistakes do single women who want a serious relationship make?” Here are some of the answers.
Life Planned Out
One Redditor wrote, “I knew some very confident women that had their lives planned out and KNEW exactly who their type was, when they’d be ready for a relationship, and exactly what the ideal relationship was for them. They were so hyper-specific about what they wanted that they phased out any natural romanticism in their lives. Their relationships weren’t organic attractions, just a checklist.”
Another Redditor added, ‘I went on two dates with a very successful lawyer. I hit all her boxes, except I didn’t wear a suit to work. She literally declined a third date because I wore jeans to work. She posts on Facebook two types of things. One is to look at how awesome my life is. The other is an annoyance at the dating world. She’s in her 40s now, and I wonder if she’ll ever find someone who hits all her boxes.”
A user commented, “Lack of communication. Obviously, this goes both ways, but if you are open right away or a few dates in with what you want or are looking for, that will save you and your fellow time and potential hurt feelings.”
A popular comment was, “Not being present with the people she surrounds herself with. I cannot tell you how many women I have passed up on because they didn’t seem to want to give me the time of day, only to find out later down the line that they were interested in a serious relationship.”
A Redditor simply put it with, “Treating the guy she views as a serious prospect worse than the guys who were just flings.”
One user wrote, “Everyone is afraid to say and do things that will drive people away when that’s the whole point of dating, driving away those who aren’t fit for you Like I don’t want kids, I’m not going to keep that to myself out of fear that a girl will leave, because that’s the point if she wants kids.”
Another user added, “All they’re doing, in that case, is kicking the can down the road. People need to have that conversation at some point, but by failing to have it upfront, you’re making sure that you’re further intertwined later. Or you just end up following along to an unhappy life, but either way, it’s not good.”
Not Over Exes
A Redditor added, “Not getting over their previous relationships before getting into a new one. Just broke up with my ex last year over that. If you tell me, you still love your ex 7 months into a relationship with me, bye.”
Another Redditor commented, “Every recently broken up/divorced woman has that friend who 5 minutes after it happens is like “GURL, you need to get back OUT THERE” and makes her a Bumble profile and starts talking to guys immediately.”
One person wrote, “Being shapeshifters with no personality of their own. Everything the boyfriend likes, they like.”
Another person added, “Ironically, my ex was looking for a girlfriend like that. As soon as I stopped blindly agreeing with him and picking up whatever hobbies he asked me to, he saw me as boring and uninteresting. He started avoiding me in favor of friends who liked the same exact things he did. It got to the point where he never wanted to see me or talk to me unless his friends weren’t available.”
Not Settling Down
A popular comment read, “I’m a female lurker, but a close friend of mine claims she really wants a boyfriend to settle down with, but when she goes on dates, she IMMEDIATELY starts talking about sex, and all the stuff she’s done, that she’s seeing lots of guys casually, etc. I think she likes being seen as ‘sexy’ and desirable and letting people know that she’s DTF and kinky.”
A Redditor wrote, “Yep. Personally, I wouldn’t even bother to hook up with her. It’s usually a huge red flag if people (men and women) constantly talk about that or even bring it up without being specifically asked.”
Home Sweet Home
One Redditor replied, “I had a woman who came over to my house on a 3rd date and started talking about how she will rearrange my house when she moves in. I blocked her immediately. Please respect someone’s private space unless you are in a committed relationship.”
Another most liked comment was, “Drama, twisting what you say to suit their version of events… Just the way some women argue and have to have the last word while saying stuff like “why can’t you just shut up? Do you always need to have the last word..” while doing the same thing themselves?”
Another Redditor added, “This exactly. During discussions with women, when I’ve had my words twisted, I’ve actually had to say, “Listen to what I said, not what you interpreted from what I said.”
Husband Not Boyfriend
A user wrote, “To realize you are looking for a husband, not a boyfriend. Husband material may not be as exciting as a boyfriend. You need to find someone that will stand by you, is a good person, has a good moral compass, and is compassionate.”
A second user added, “As a married person, I often have to blank stare while my wife’s single friends act as if you just finally get him to commit and put the ring on at a $50k wedding. Then it’s full send happiness for the rest of your life. They’re not looking at it from the standpoint of “Will this person go to war alongside me.” They’re looking at it like, “If I can just get him to step into this trap once, it’ll all work out!”
One Redditor replied, “Making good men continue to chase and put in the majority of the effort because they didn’t work through their emotional baggage from past relationships. It takes a lot of teamwork to make relationships work, and without the self-work, you’ll never give your new partner a chance to work.”
A second Redditor added, “They don’t value the qualities in men that make good partners in a serious relationship. The guy you want to hook up with at a party and the guy you want to have kids with are different people.”
Another user continued with, “Holding their current partners accountable for what another man did.”
A person added, “yea, my ex broke up with me after 3 months because “we wouldn’t have these arguments if you were truly the one” while we weren’t even fighting, we were setting boundaries after she messed up.”
A Redditor wrote, “Being too passive/indirect because they think being direct makes them seem “too easy.” If you like a guy, you should talk to him and not just drop hints and pray he picks up on them.”
Another Redditor disagreed, saying, “I’m always direct, and it gets me nowhere. I’m upfront about feelings etc., without being over the top or weird. They appreciate it at first, and then for some reason, they lose the thrill of the chase or something. It’s so frustrating.”
A person commented, “They sleep with other people. That’s always a big mistake.”
A second user said, “We were on a break!”
One user responded, “Not putting enough effort. Some women seem to be under the impression that a guy will just come, put in all the effort, and then magically, they’ll be in a serious relationship. What ends up happening is that the guy comes, tries to date them, gets tired, and leaves.”
Another user replied, “By not pursuing or showing interest. It’s 2023, time to get with the program. I am not going to risk coming across as a creep by blindly jumping through hoops just to get rejected. Start a conversation with that guy you like.”
A Redditor continued with “The “I can fix him” mentality. Sure, people change a bit here and there in a relationship, but don’t take on a big project and expect him to be the perfect partner.”
Social Media Posts
A popular comment was, “Posting thrist traps on social media.”
Another most-liked comment read, “How come I only get men who just want to sleep with me?”
One Redditor simply said, “Try to start a serious relationship with men who do not want a serious relationship.”
Too Much Too Soon
Finally, a user commented, “Expecting too much too early. I’ve met some girls who expect the whole 9’s from the get-go. Beginning dating is an investment of time before you invest money. Coffee, a drink, bowling/some activity is about as much as should be expected in the first couple of dates. I asked a girl for a drink and bowling, and she said she expected more and canceled. No problem by me, though. Even if she didn’t cancel, I would’ve canceled myself if she’d expressed the same sentiment.”
According to Redditors, women seem to make many dating mistakes. What are some mistakes you see women make? What mistakes have you made in the past?
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