Personal Red Flags: User Share Their Biggest Red Flags
Personal red flags are warning signs that alert us to potential issues or negative traits in ourselves. They indicate that we may be engaging in behaviors or exhibiting attitudes that are harmful to ourselves or others. These red flags can take various forms, such as consistently making excuses, engaging in frequent self-destructive behaviors, showing a lack of empathy or respect for others, or having difficulty taking responsibility for one’s actions. That said, recognizing personal red flags is crucial for personal growth and self-improvement.
Overly Attached
One user shared, “I get emotionally attached to people so fast. Whether in a romantic way or a friendly way, I find myself romanticizing the relationship way too quickly.”
Warming Up
A second user added, “It takes way too long for me to accept that some people are just being nice/kind and don’t have ulterior motives. It makes it take too long for me to warm up for most people to stay interested in getting to know me.”
Trust Issues
A third user said, “I have trust issues. Past experiences where someone used my vulnerability for their own petty benefits.”
Empathy
This poster stated, “I’m relatively incapable of empathizing with others when they’re going through loss. I try hard to, but usually, it feels forced and fake.”
Independent
A top-liked comment said, “I’ve lived alone for 25 years. I like my independence, and once I feel like someone may be infringing on that, it’s over. Living alone is more addictive than crack.”
Lecturing
One person said, “I consider lecturing a personal responsibility, and I think I can leave every interaction a little wiser and potentially the world a little better. Instead, it makes me annoying as sh*t and annoyed as sh****t every time I open my mouth. Ironically, I refuse to learn from this.”
Lying
Someone added, “If you can flat-out lie to my face, that’s the only red flag I need to see. I grew up being taught always to be honest in life, regardless of the situation. If I’m honest with you, 100% of the time, I kind of expect the same back. If I catch you lying, you dam well bet I will be distancing myself from you.”
Unhappiness
One user shared, “Being nearly perpetually unhappy. It’s a cycle I go through, and it ain’t cute.”
Shutting Down
A poster commented, “Instead of arguing my position/feeling, I shut down. If it continues, it means I checked out of the relationship and see my partner as unworthy of my energy.”
Co-Dependence
A top-liked comment said, “I have awful trust issues that stem from an abusive relationship I was in up until last year. It’s extremely hard to believe anyone can be trusted when the person you love most can hurt you immediately, manipulate, and lie to you for their benefit.”
Not Good Enough
A commenter added, “I have a mindset that I’m not good enough for anyone, and no one is good enough for me. I desperately want to love and be loved, and I give no one the chance because I’m too picky.”
Volatile Temper
This person shared, “I have a volatile temper. It’s much better these days, but things get me heated too quickly, and I still fly off the handle, like 0-60 real fast.”
Can’t Rely On Others
One user stated, “Too independent, giant case of avoidant attachment. The idea of relying on others or having others rely on me makes me itchy. I lost my sh*t after getting a pet when I realized it was a lifetime commitment. I adapted to that, but I have no time for other people’s drama or needs.”
Lack Of Interest
A poster added, “My inability to pretend to be interested in something. I can enjoy your passion, which may be mistaken as enjoying the subject matter, but if that subject doesn’t interest me, I just check out. My significant other talks about her work (far too much), and it causes discourse because I don’t even realize that I physically (and mentally) left the conversation.”
Doesn’t Value Relationships
This person said, “Outside of my wife and dogs, I don’t value people or relationships. I’m 43, lived all around the world, and have met many people, and relationships usually die, and I’m ok with that. I’m aware we won’t be friends until we die. That’s just how life is. Don’t blame me if I don’t take you seriously.”
Jealousy
This poster divulged, “I become jealous of things I shouldn’t be jealous over due to previous trauma. I try not to do or say anything about it, but I FEEL it, and that’s probably not good at all.”
Looking To Leave
A user stated, “I never feel like I’m good enough. I constantly ask if I’m still loved/wanted/liked, not because I’m fishing for compliments, but because I’d rather know when I’m no longer wanted so I can make arrangements to leave. I would rather be alone than be disliked by those around me.”
Emotional
Someone added, “I cry easily and hate doing it in front of my partner, but it’s hard not to when we share a room, and the bathroom door doesn’t lock.”
Fear Of Being Alone
This user shared, “I get attached way too easily, and I can never leave toxic relationships, whether friendships or relationships. I have a fear of being alone.”
Too Late
Finally, a user said, “I’m 37, never been married, no kids, and I got a vasectomy to keep it that way. At this point, I feel like it’s way too late in the game to look for a partner and start a family.”
Source: Reddit
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