20 Early Warning Signs From Others That Your Relationship May Not Be What You Think It Is
There’s a saying that goes, “Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” suggesting that we gain knowledge and experience about someone or something after going through it ourselves. However, hindsight isn’t very useful at the start of a situation. That’s why it’s important for us to actively seek wisdom and advice from those who have had similar life experiences. By learning from others and understanding how things turned out for them, we can better navigate our own paths.
Emotional Manipulation
One user said, “If you say ‘No,’ and their response is, ‘You’d do it if you really loved me’ — WATCH OUT. That sort of emotional manipulation is usually a bad sign.”
Just Say No
A second user added, “If you feel unhappy because you are being stretched too thin and have no time for yourself, that’s a sign that you must practice saying “no” to things.”
Interruptions
A third user shared, “Interruptions are a part of conversation, but if more of your sentences end with interruptions than periods, there might be a serious problem. Also, in the other direction, try not to interrupt. Listen.”
Excusing Behavior
One added, “If you find yourself always having to make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family, it’s a warning that your partner is probably no good for you.”
Recognize Failure
A poster recalled, “The hardest lesson I’ve learned in life is how to recognize that a relationship is failing and let it go. There are a number of warning signs that I missed. We didn’t laugh as much when we hung out. We didn’t spend as much time together. We fought…a lot. She seemed to care a lot less about the things I thought were important, and frankly, I probably stopped caring too much about the priorities in her life.”
Criticism
This poster said, “In terms of a relationship, criticism. Too many people don’t know the difference between airing your grievances in a healthy way and being critical in a negative sense. For example, “I would appreciate it if we could trade off nights on who does the cooking” or “I think that shirt might be better for another occasion” are fair criticisms—saying, “You never cook. I’m not your mother,” or “You don’t even try to dress up. You look sloppy!” is not productive and creates resentment. Good criticism always presents a solution.”
Name Calling
This user added, “Don’t do name-calling. I don’t care how mad you are or how upset you are, do not name-call your partner. Your partner will never forget how awful you made them feel because of the [insert cruel name] you called them.”
Outside The Relationship
One shared, “It’s not really a warning sign, but make sure you maintain hobbies and friends outside of a relationship. The warning sign would be if your significant other is trying to isolate you from these things.”
Grew Apart
A user commented, “If you lose contact with good friends because they don’t keep in touch or make an effort, chances are they think the same of you.”
Yes When No
This poster added, “I’m not what most would consider “older,” but I will say that once you start finding yourself saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” get used to a life without getting your needs met.”
Not Speaking
One user shared, “Not speaking to avoid conflict. On the other hand, give yourself some time to cool off. Don’t say things in the heat of the moment. Take a break from an argument if you need to. Don’t just shut down, but try to keep things from escalating.”
Emotional Vampire
One person said, “If you spend more time helping your friend with their problems than you do actually hanging out and having fun together, then it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. This is doubly true if they don’t offer you much in the way of support. Some people are emotional vampires who will totally disrupt your life if you let them.”
Nuclear
A top-liked comment said, “Never, ever, in a fight with your significant other, EVER use something they’ve told you in confidence OR their biggest vulnerability against them in a fight. EVER. It is a nuke. It can not be undone. It will erode the trust in your relationship by the first breath after being said, even if it doesn’t kill the relationship instantly.
Red-Flag
This person added, “In your personal life if you start to feel really anxious or insecure with someone you’re dating–treat it as a warning. With the caveat that you’re not an immature/jealous/crazy person, those feelings can be a red flag that the person you’re with isn’t meeting your needs or that something else is amiss.”
Wild Accusations
A poster shared, “If your partner often accuses you of cheating, when you know you most certainly are not, it just might be possible that your partner is cheating. If you try to ask your partner if they are cheating and they become instantly angry and make you feel bad for asking the question, it just might be possible that your partner is cheating on you. But the most important thing is not to waste your life trying to stay with the wrong person for you.”
Eventually
A user added, “Young girls – if he is an a****ole to everyone except you. You are not a special butterfly that can bring out the good in him. It just hasn’t been your turn yet. Yes, this applies to young men as well. If she’s a bi**** to everyone except you, it will be your turn eventually.”
Not A Competition
This user shared, “Whenever someone says anything to you, there is no competition to hop on their story and try to top it. No one likes a one-upper. Maybe they’re lonely. Maybe they’re bored. Maybe they like you. Maybe they just need someone to listen. It’s not a peeing match to see who comes out the winner.”
Handling Not Required
This poster commented, “If someone says or feels their mantra is “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. Grown f****ing adults don’t need to be ‘handled’ by anyone.”
Toxicity
A top-liked comment said, “Holding anger towards someone is toxic. Even when that anger is justified when 100 out of 100 people interviewed would take your side, agree you’ve been wronged, and share your rage: it’s still a slow-acting poison that breaks you down. Being angry at someone is letting them live rent-free in your head.”
No Communication
Finally, “Relationships: When you stop talking to one another. And I don’t mean constantly sitting in silence. I mean communicating. “Oh, I can’t say that because it’ll result in a fight” type of not talking. When you can’t communicate and be open and honest with one another, there’s a problem.” Source: Reddit
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