15 Hard Truths You Have to Face When In a Relationship
Relationships can be a beautiful and fulfilling part of life, but they also come with their own set of challenges and realities. This eye-opening compilation delves into the sometimes uncomfortable truths that arise when two individuals intertwine their lives. From personal growth to compromise, we will explore the complexities and responsibilities that come with nurturing a healthy and successful partnership.
A Small Sliver
A second user said, “Most relationships are just everyday living. Your idea of a perfect relationship is the small sliver of it that tv, movies, and social media have led you to believe. You gotta look forward to sitting on the couch in sweatpants after eating so much stir fry you’re both farting non-stop.”
Not Everyone Will Value Your Relationship
One user shared, “Not everyone will value your relationship like you do. It’s VERY important to ensure you have the same expectations and values; otherwise, like two unequally yoked animals, you will continue to walk in circles over the same ground.”
Fear of Hurting Someone
A third user added, “Putting off ending things for fear of hurting someone’s feelings is the worst possible idea. If the relationship isn’t right and you know you don’t want to be together, then sparing someone’s feelings in the short term only leads to more pain later down the line. Be honest and front the horrible conversation.”
Loss Of Identity
This user mentioned, “Losing your identity within a relationship is easy. Finding it again isn’t. Remember to keep your friends and hobbies.”
Ebbs & Flows
One commented, “Eventually, love is not being “crazy in love” all the time. There are ebbs and flows, and sometimes love isn’t enough.”
It Looks Different
This person said, “Once you get beyond the initial lust/heart-fluttery part of a romantic relationship, you realize that love looks much different than the rom-coms. Relationships are often unglamorous, and while a committed relationship can be very rewarding, there’s more to it than you and your hot partner canoodling and going on trips for the rest of your lives. Relationships can take a lot of work, some of which you will never see coming in the early days.”
Oxytocin
A user commented, “Love (and the oxytocin dependency that comes with it) can keep people together through almost anything, including mutual abuse, suffering, boredom, and misery. It’s important to understand this.”
The Negative Parts
A top-liked comment said, “At a certain point, you must accept some particular negative parts of your partner’s personality or move on. My husband is almost 50. We’ve been married for over 20 years. While he will continue to experience personal growth, there are parts of his personality that are likely not ever to change. The same is true for me, of course.”
More Than Love
This poster stated, “Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them. A relationship needs more than love.”
Kindness is a Must
“Your partner should be kind to you and vice versa. It’s not okay for your partner to scream at you or curse you out or deliberately hurt your feelings. This isn’t to say that it never ever happens, we all are human, and occasionally we mess up. But if they are not consistently kind to you, if they aren’t sorry when they are mean, and if they repeat it, then that’s a problem.”
Having Children To Fix a Relationship Doesn’t Work
A user added, “Having children to fix your relationship: terrible idea. Just don’t. Human up and fix your issues, don’t drag a bandaid baby into it.”
Be A Whole By Yourself First
This comment read, “You can’t look for someone else to be your “other half.” You have to learn how to be a whole person on your own. This means being able to take care of your own emotional needs, too.”
Be Direct
One user added, “Your partner will never know you’re upset with them magically. They aren’t going to read your passive-aggressive signs. They aren’t going to pick up on that. Be direct. If you are upset, talk to your partner about it. Not your friends. Not your parents. Not strangers on the internet – your partner.”
Pick Your Battles
A top-liked comment said, “Not all arguments are worth having. Yes, communication is extremely important and key to a healthy relationship…but so is triaging the things you nit-pick.”
Social Media Is A Lie
“People online will try to make you believe that every little thing needs to be addressed and, if you don’t want to address it, you’re living a lie…but those people are either 1) in a complete fantasy relationship, or 2) have never been in a meaningful one.”
Don’t Ignore Red-Flags
This user commented, “When you look at someone with rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” It’s easy to dismiss toxic characteristics because of love. Sometimes you won’t get that clarity until you’re a safe distance away.”
Sometimes It Just Doesn’t Work
One user mentioned, “Sometimes things don’t work even if both parties are objectively wonderful people. Even if they love each other and enjoy their lives together. Sometimes things just get in the way and force you to make a hard choice.”
No Instruction Manual
“Relationships do not have an instruction manual. Relationships are whatever the people involved want them to be. Sometimes what your significant other wants is drastically different than what you want. No matter how much you love each other, you might not get past the differences.
Family Relationships
A poster said, “Familial relationships also need the effort that all other types get, or they will fall apart. That said, family relationships can be toxic as well, don’t be scared to end those relationships either.”
Constant Change
Finally, “People keep changing as their life goes on, and there are no guarantees that you and your partner will change in compatible ways. Someone can be your soulmate today, but in a year, the person they’ve become may not be the soulmate of the person you’ve become. While you shouldn’t simply give up on a relationship the moment you hit a rough patch, you shouldn’t let a happy past keep you in a miserable present.”
Source: Reddit
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