The relationship is going well; you’re ready to start talking about moving in together, but what do you do when conflict arises over property and rent amounts?
A Redditor recently asked if she is in the wrong for refusing to pay rent should she move in with her boyfriend, who owns his own home, without receiving a piece of the investment.
The Housing Issue
The original poster (OP) and her boyfriend have been dating for three years but have had separate living situations. Recently, they have been discussing moving in together as she feels that’s part of the evolution of their relationship. Still, she has reservations about moving into a house that she would not have part ownership in a while paying toward the mortgage.
OP stated that she is refusing to pay money that would go directly toward his mortgage without a piece of ownership. She is more than willing to help with utilities, groceries, and other expenses. Still, she says paying part of the monthly mortgage is a hard no. Her big hang-up with the situation is she would get nothing if they were to break up.
The boyfriend’s view on this is that she would essentially be living with him for free, and it would cause an uneven dynamic toward their shared living expenses. OP feels that he would benefit from paying down the mortgage and gaining equity in the home, not her. The boyfriend also argues that his mortgage is comparable to what OP is and that by cutting the cost of the mortgage in half, both would save money on living costs compared to living individually.
The Rental Agreement
OP told her boyfriend the only way she would pay money to the mortgage is if he signed a contract that would pay her back what she put into the mortgage from the move-in date to the potential break-up. She feels this would protect her from eviction and other basic tenant rights, similar to a rental agreement. The boyfriend refuses to sign anything like that because, in his words, she could break up with him for no reason and then take him to court for thousands of dollars.
OP and her boyfriend are at odds about this, and neither has been able to come to an agreement or compromise that satisfies the needs of both, and he feels she is being so tricky over them splitting living expenses 50/50. With the lease on OP’s apartment coming up in a few months, they need to decide sooner rather than later and feel that if she signs a new lease, it will ultimately end their relationship.
Reddit Weighs In
Redditors were quick to let the OP know exactly how this situation should be handled.
One Redditor said, “You clearly don’t have any problem paying your landlord’s mortgage, and you have no stake in that. How is this any different? You live there; you can help pay for the expenses. YTA.”
A second Redditor agreed with the above statement: “Yes, exactly this! OP is going to pay someone’s mortgage. It might as well be her partner’s. And if their relationship continues, she truly could benefit long-term.”
A third Redditor had this to say, “Yeah, honestly, she’s just being combative to the point that it’s actually hurting her in the process. Go live with him.”
Another Redditor contributed, “Contribute to the bills you’re responsible for. If you don’t think you can afford $1000 or $2000, discuss with him what’s reasonable for you to pay. I think if I’m saving $500 or more a month, then just do that choice. Save up your money, and consider putting a down payment on the house if you’re not at the stage for marriage and you don’t see a future for the relationship.”
Another Redditor gave this perspective, “There is one difference – her landlord can’t break up with her and leave her homeless without following the legal eviction process, which seems to be one of her concerns. But the answer to that isn’t “don’t pay rent,” it’s “put it in writing.” Become a legal tenant.”
Redditors gave their opinions and ideas. What do you think? She wants to feel protected paying into an investment that she would not benefit from should they break up. Is she being difficult, or is she looking out for herself?
More From Neon Moon
12 Unspoken Rules From The Female World We each have our unspoken rules. Rules that everyone seems to know but no one actually talks about.
Run for the Hills: 10 Female Behaviors That Drive Men Away Instantly
Run for the Hills: 10 Female Behaviors That Drive Men Away Instantly -Relationships aren’t easy. Some things that people do just won’t fly with you.
Why Men Stopped Being Intimate With a Woman
22 Reasons Why Men Stopped Being Intimate with a Woman “Men who stopped being intimate with their partner during the relationship, what was your reasoning?” The responses got interesting fast!
Most People Find These Normally Attractive Things Completely Unattractive
Most People Find These Normally Attractive Things Completely Unattractive We all find different things about a person attractive and, in the inverse, unattractive.
4 Signs There Is Sensual Tension Between You and Someone Else Sensual tension can often be cut with a knife. Sometimes even other people start to notice.