Bride looking sad

She Doesn’t Want Her Sister’s Boyfriend At Her Small Intimate Wedding. Should She Cave and Allow Him to Come?

Sibling rivalry is defined as jealousy, competition, and fighting between brothers and sisters. Oftentimes our siblings are our first nemesis, especially since we’re the second born to an older sibling.

No matter what, siblings will fight and argue for years on end, but then one day, all that changes, and you start to become more than fighting siblings and sibling friends. Many hold on to those friendships and hope that if anything does come in the way of their relationship, they can work through it in time.

At a Crossroad With Her Sister

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One woman is at a crossroads with their sibling and feels like, for the first time, she doesn’t know if their relationship will ever bounce back from their latest fight.

The original poster (OP) says she and her sister have always been close. However, more recently, things have been tense between the two of them, especially since OP got engaged. This has caused a lot of stress for her because of everything she wants her bridesmaids to do, she feels her sister has had an issue. She went on to say that they’ve been having arguments over everything about her wedding, from the color of the bridesmaid dresses to the type of flowers they’ll be carrying down the aisle.

No Boyfriend Allowed 

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Recently, they said they had their biggest disagreement/argument about her sister’s boyfriend and OP not wanting him to attend the wedding. She says it’s not because she dislikes the boyfriend, but the issue is her wedding is going to be a small intimate affair, and the guest list only includes friends and family whom the bride and groom have had long-standing relationships with.

Small Intimate Wedding

Three brides in their wedding dresses
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The woman goes on to say that she would feel uncomfortable with him at the wedding because of the intimacy of the event and that he and her sister have only been dating for a few months, and OP does not want strangers or people they barely know at the wedding.  

When OP explained this to her sister, she became livid and accused OP of being selfish and not caring about her happiness. OP’s sister even went as far as to say she would not attend the wedding if he couldn’t come. The woman tried to calmly explain her concerns but firmly told her sister she wouldn’t compromise or cave in on him not attending the wedding. The woman feels that it is her wedding day, and she wants to be surrounded by people who she loves, who love her back, and who have been there for OP throughout her life. 

Her Feelings

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The woman feels that if she gives in and lets her sister bring her boyfriend, it will set a bad precedent for their relationship going forward, and she doesn’t want her sister to think she will always cave to her boundaries. However, OP is now worried that she’s ruined their relationship regardless, as her sister has not spoken to her since this argument, and she’s fearful that her sister will not show up to the wedding. 

The Masses Weigh In

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People gave their opinions on whether or not the bride-to-be should allow her sister to bring her new(ish) boyfriend to her small wedding. 

One Redditor said, “NAH. You both have every right in the world here. She can’t force you to invite her boyfriend. You can’t force her to show up to your wedding. It’s really as simple as that.”

“It’s Your Wedding, Not Hers”

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A second Redditor said, “It’s your wedding, not hers. Give her time to cool down. Hopefully, she will respect your choice and won’t choose her new bf over you.”

Another user said, “NTA- They’ve only been together for a few months. If they had been together for a year, maybe it would be different. But he might as well be a stranger to y’all.”

This Redditor had this to say, “NTA, I completely understand not wanting a random guy at your wedding, especially one who you haven’t really gotten along with in the past. They’ve only been dating a few months, so it’s not exactly “serious” to the rest of your sister’s family even if it is to her.”

Your Wedding, Your Rules

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A user offered this perspective, “ It is your wedding. You are free to make whatever rules, requirements, or exclusions you desire. However, you must accept the consequences of your decisions.”

This Redditor said, “NTA, but she might not come, and that’s completely her right to skip the wedding.”

Redditors agreed. It is the woman’s wedding, and she can make the decisions on who she wants there and doesn’t want there.

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