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19 Crucial Small Boundaries You Need in Your Relationship

Boundaries in a relationship are a necessary part of building a healthy relationship. No one wants their boundaries crossed over and over again because it starts to create resentment and can ultimately snowball into huge issues later on in the relationship. A poster recently asked the question, “What are your smaller relationship boundaries that you’ve learned over the years?” and the thread blew up with many fantastic answers.

Planning Dates

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One user said, “I don’t want to be the only person planning dates. I want you to want to do things with me, even if they’re not my cup of tea – you enjoying them and wanting me to be there is enough to make it my cup of tea.”

Making The Effort

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Another Redditor said, “I can’t be the only person willing to make an effort, like always going to see them or always doing all the planning.”


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One Redditor said, “Please respect my TV and movie tastes. Don’t have to like the same shows/genres, but if I am watching something and you don’t like it or aren’t into it, maybe shut it? Do something else?”

Testing Boundaries

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A Redditor added, “Someone who runs tests on me to see where I stand in the relationship instead of communicating (ex. Not talking to me all day to see if ill notice or reach out)”

Giving Space

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One user said, “Silent treatment. I get needing a little bit of time and space to process, but when a reaction to a disagreement is the full-on silent treatment instead of mature communication, that’s a nope for me.”

A second user added, “I need a lot of space and independence. I have an unconventional relationship that allows this to work.”

Voicing Opinions

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A Redditor had this to say, “If you get a chance to say your opinion without me speaking, then I do too. That means I can speak without you talking over me, changing the subject, or not paying attention.”

Making Jokes

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One Redditor said, “When someone says, “I was joking..” after saying something cruel. And blaming me for “being sensitive.” Any cruelty masked as humor is a no-go for me.”

A second Redditor added, “I do not like when people mock me when I make mistakes or drop things.”

Decision Making

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Another Redditor said, “Please do not make me make all of the decisions. I don’t know what I want to eat. I don’t care what we watch. Please make these decisions 50% of the time.”

Gift Giving

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One user said, “Thoughtful gifts. I don’t mean expensive materialistic things. Just things/experiences you remember me mentioning or being into.”

Travel and Vacations

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Another Redditor added, “Travel and vacation compatibility. I don’t want to take cruises or sit on a beach, getting drunk and sunburned. And someone who does want to take vacations like that would probably find me an insufferable travel partner in return.”

Public Mocking

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A user had this to say, “As much as we rib each other in private, we never do so publicly.”


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This Redditor said, “Lies, even about small things, are a hard no for me.”

A second Redditor replied, “I need to have a lying boundary. You shouldn’t be lying about anything.” 

Owing Pets

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One Redditor responded, “I am a cat lady, get used to it or find the door.” 

Another Redditor said, “I have pets, and you have just tolerate them but also enjoy them.”


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This Redditor said, “I care. Just because it isn’t important to you doesn’t mean it isn’t important to me (or vice versa).”

A second Redditor replied, “I ned someone who cares for me and about things. If you don’t have a passion for something, I’m out.” 


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This user added, “Please don’t talk to me for 15 minutes after I wake up, and please don’t ask me questions for 30 minutes.”

Another user said, “ I need open communication. If you are someone who “doesn’t talk” about issues/problems and just let’s it go. I’m out.” 


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A Redditor said, “I consider it a red flag or an orange flag when I see that people are into gossip.”

Being Critical

So Like… man on the phone
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This user said, “Criticizing how I do things. You’re not my parent, my teacher, or my boss. I don’t give a f*** if your way is more efficient or effective.”

Another Redditor added, “Not dismissing my feelings. My SO used to say things like you can choose not to be upset.“

Following Through

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A Redditor had this to say, “Don’t say you’re going to do something if you’re not going to.”

Too Much or Too Little Talking

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One Redditor added, “Please put your phone down and enjoy this present moment with me.”

Another user added, “Texting all day. I hate feeling obligated to reply all day.”

Finally, a Redditor said, “Or get mad when I don’t reply right away.”
Redditors let everyone know what relationship boundaries they have. What are some small boundaries you have in relationships? What happens if they overstep?

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