Elevated View Of A Young Woman Standing In Messy Room

She’s Claiming Her Space: Why This Woman Wants her Own Room in the House Her and Her Fiance Share

That’s right, they’ll share one room as their bedroom, he gets another room for a home office, and she wants the 3rd room all to herself. It’s a three bedroom home that gives them two spare rooms. Equal right? It’s not that simple.

The excitement of getting a place together with the person you will spend the rest of your life with is a very exciting time! There’s a new energy injected into the relationship, a new excitement for that next step, and the joy of creating a place that’s all your own! 

When there are extra bedrooms, something has to be done with them. Some people turn their spare bedrooms into an office, home gyms, or crafting spaces. But some people want it as a personal space only they can access. 

One Redditor feels that she should get sole ownership of one of the spare bedrooms because she never truly had a space or room to call her own and since she’s splitting the bills.

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The Extra Room

The original poster (OP) and her fiancé are moving into a 3-bedroom house soon, and it’ll be their first time living with each other. OP went on to say that she has never had a room or space to herself and that as a child, she had to share her room, and even when she moved out of her house, she had a roommate, so she feels as though she has never really had a space or room of her own.

OP also said that she always felt the need to share and felt guilty when she wanted to be alone in her room but couldn’t since someone else was there. She went on to say the only time she had a room or space all to herself was when her roommate or sibling was away. However, even then, she didn’t feel like she had a room to herself.

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The Argument

Recently, after discussing using one of the spare rooms in her soon-to-be house, she mentioned to her fiancé that she wanted to turn it into a bedroom for herself so when she wants to be alone. Her fiancé was confused and said he wanted to use the spare room for a home gym instead. The other spare room will be an office for him when he needs to work from home. OP argued that he already has a claim over one of the spare rooms and she should be allowed to use the other one for herself. 

OP also said that she was looking forward to having a space where she could be alone when she wanted and was the only person with access to the room. OP’s fiancé was unhappy to hear this and argued that the point of moving in together was to share everything and not just coexist in the same space. However, he came up with a compromise and said he would change his mind about wanting a home gym if they agreed to turn the second room into a guest bedroom that both could use when they want to be alone in their own space. 

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OP isn’t extremely happy with this compromise and still feels like she would be sharing, which was the whole point of her having her own space. OP says that if she has a room to herself to use when she wants to be alone, she can just go into her own room, and that will then give him the space he wants as well. OP says they’re splitting home expenses 50/50, so she doesn’t feel that she’s being that unreasonable. 

Redditors Weigh In

Redditors were quick to respond and give their point of view on this extra room drama. 

The first Redditor to respond said, NTA – if you are moving into a 3 bedroom house, and you both share one bedroom to sleep in, and you are sharing expenses equally – your fiancé can not FAIRLY claim both other rooms for himself (gym and office.) His COMPROMISE is that he gets one of the rooms to himself, and he “shares” the other two with you. You’re allowed to ask for a room of your own. You don’t need to justify why you want it.”

A second Redditor added, “What’s mine is mine. What’s yours is also mine” This was my exact thought. He sounds like a controlling and selfish person who only prioritizes his own wants and needs.”

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A third Redditor shared this experience, “NTA- Stand strong on this!!! You are still an individual who has her own needs. I finally got my own room in my house after getting married young (and divorced!) and having two kids. They are all grown up, and my partner is fully on board with me having a space. Oh my goodness, I love my room. So so so much.”

Another user added, “NTA. I feel like men having their own rooms (mancave, “office,” “gym”) is so normalized, yet when women want one, it’s a whole a** thing.”
Redditors gave their opinion on whether or not this woman was asking too much to have a room in her home all to herself. What are your thoughts? Does this woman deserve a room? Is her fiancé being a jerk?

This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon.

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