woman pointing to herself

Obvious Characteristics People Who Are Selfish

Are you tired of dealing with selfish people in your life? Do you find yourself constantly frustrated by their me-first attitudes and disregard for others? Fear not, dear reader, for we have scoured the depths of Reddit to find the ultimate thread on identifying selfishness. The question at hand is: “What is a tell-tale sign that someone is a selfish person?” And boy, did the internet deliver! From narcissism to manipulation to a constant need for attention, we’ve compiled a list of 20 categories of behaviors that might help you spot a selfish person from a mile away. 

Lack of Empathy

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To start off, one Redditor said, “When anything that happens to them is the worst thing in the world and whatever happens to you is not that bad and a waste of time talking about or dealing with.”


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A user commented, “Defensive and gaslighting, instead of a simple “Sorry I did this,” it’s always “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Another comment was, “When they say sorry, but nothing ever changes.”


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A popular comment said, “When they just take, take, take, and give nothing back!”


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One person replied, “They don’t remember the times people helped them, but remember clearly all the times they have helped others.”

Another person responded, “When every single bad thing that happens to another person gets spun around into their personal problem, e.g., I’m really upset because my friend’s family member is going through x.”


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A Redditor wrote, “They don’t want you to have other friends outside of themselves. This was my ex, so happy to be free of that BS.”

Disregard for Others’ Feelings

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A user commented, “They feel no remorse for how they’ve hurt others.”

Another user added, “Every bad thing you do to them is drama-worthy.”

Refusal to Compromise

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One Redditor commented, “Always expects everyone to compromise, but they never compromise themselves because the world revolves around them.”

Control Issues

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One user replied, “They drive aggressively. We’ve all seen people weaving in and out of traffic, passing on the right, tailgating, etc. It’s pretty selfish to create dangerous situations for other drivers.”


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A Redditor replied, “If you ask “How are you?” they can’t even be bothered to ask you the same.”

Another Redditor commented, “No “thank you” or compliments. My cousin, when I cook food she won’t just say normal **** like “thank you for the food, it’s really good” instead, she says “is it bad I actually like this food? Is it bad I am craving that pasta you made?”


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A popular comment was, “People who have kids on purpose and then act like their kids owe them (well above and beyond basic kindness and human respect) for the rest of their lives.”

Blaming Others for Their Problems

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A Redditor replied, “When they always play the victim card. 99% of the time, they only place themselves in the victim seat by ignoring all the effort or cost other people have to endure and only focus on what they go through themselves.”

Attention-Seeking Behavior

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A popular comment was, “When they need everyone else’s attention and adoration, and they desperately need to be noticed.”

Rude To Others

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A person added, “They’re rude to waitstaff or just staff and employees in general.”

Another person replied, “They cut a center piece out of freshly baked cake/brownies. I’m talking dead center when no other pieces have been taken.”

Lack of Accountability

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One Redditor wrote, “Doesn’t think they’re wrong in the slightest bit. They can’t shoulder any bit of responsibility.”

A second Redditor replied, “Selfish people can’t recognize their mistakes. They are never the problem.”

Inability to Apologize

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A user commented, “If they refuse to take responsibility for their actions.”

Constantly Talking About Themselves

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A popular comment was, “If you are in a group and there is one person that is constantly interrupting the middle of what you or anyone else is generally saying to brag about themselves with a ‘one-upper’ story, is generally a precursor to stop associating with them. I’ve met too many of them in my days, and they are more often than not happy to throw you under the bus whenever the opportunity arises.”

Putting Their Own Needs Before Others

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A user wrote, “They only message you when they need a favor.”

A second user added, “Another thing is that every favor done for you needs to be paid back, and you will never hear the end of it if you don’t, and it always needs to be equal or greater, or they will complain.”

Refusing to Help Others

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A most-liked comment wrote, “Everything is transactional, and they actually keep score so that it’s “even.”

Taking Credit for Others’ Work

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One Redditor replied, “Complaining at work to coworkers doing your work for you while you complain.”

A second Redditor added, “I had a coworker who would never do anything because of “migraines” and yet she’d always b**** about how busy she was.”

Refusing to Share Resources or Opportunities

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Finally, a Redditor said, “What they want is always more important than what anybody else might need, and they see nothing wrong with this.”

Sadly, selfish people are pretty common in our world. But Redditors definitely came through with some pretty recognizable signs of a selfish person. 

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