Discovering that you have been cheated on is a deeply painful experience, made even more challenging when it has been happening for a prolonged period without your knowledge. Therefore, it is crucial to be aware of the signs and not overlook any red flags. By examining what others have observed, we can gain insight into identifying these signs and protecting ourselves from potential betrayal.
One reader said, “When they pick fights out of nowhere and use those fights as an excuse not to talk for a night or so.”
One poster shared, They start accusing you of cheating. The projection is strong.
To which another poster replied, “Projection is the one the best ways to know someone is doing something or is at least tempted to.
A user shared, “They don’t allow you access to their phone, computers, tablets, or they will never leave these items alone at any time, and become secretive while on their electronics.”
This user said, “When they travel, they don’t check in with you, call/text, or tell you where they are staying or when they’ll be back. This is a huge red flag!”
Frequent Bathroom Use
This reader said, “They begin using the bathroom more often and for longer periods of time. You know how when you’re texting someone you’re into, you just kind of light up and smile at their replies all the time, and people around you can tell? Many times they might even flip the script and ask who you’re talking to.”
A top-liked comment mentioned, “They take a much greater interest in their appearance. They were not doing it for you, but they are doing it for the other person.”
A user added, “If they’ve asked you for months or years to have s**x with them once in a while, and you decided you weren’t into that. Then all suddenly, they’re going out and making new friends and staying out late without you. They’re probably cheating.”
Starting Petty Arguments
This reader shared, “In my experience if they start petty arguments with you and now have a reason to leave the house or not speak with you the rest of the time you’re home.”
Another reader responded by saying, “As someone who went through cheating multiple times, many of the answers here are very true. I’d say using arguments as an excuse to leave the house is a big one: that is an incessant projection.
That Gut Feeling
A user said, “Honestly, from my experience, if you’re getting the gut feeling, it’s probably true. It depends on you because some people genuinely believe they’re being cheated on, but if you’re typically a straight rational thinker & something is just telling you, you should listen to it.”
No Signs At All
One user shared, “There could also be no signs whatsoever.. especially if you two don’t live together. I wouldn’t call it “signs,” but I’d say that the following might also be hinting they’re cheating or have met someone else. It takes longer to reply than previously, all of a sudden they start “randomly” disappearing for hours when you would normally be talking to them.”
This poster said, “If they start using excuses like they were “busy” or “tired” or some other excuse that never has come up before.”
“If they start lying. Especially about where they’ve been, who they’re with, and what they’re doing. It may not be obvious initially, but lies tend to come out.”
A user shared this story, “What got me suspicious was lack of intimacy (when we had a good regular intimate life). Their phone goes off at night when they’re asleep, and they wake up to respond.”
This user said, “When they start developing new habits or routines, and these habits/routines that don’t involve you. For example, going out every weekend or running errands at odd times.”
Being Away From Each Other
“For a long-distance relationship: it starts getting harder to get in contact. They begin to lose interest in wanting to move or get together but won’t say why. Making excuses for everything or claiming they’re “hanging out with family” all the time when it never happened before.”
Making The Relationship A Secret
Finally, a reader said, “After the first time he cheated, we worked on our relationship, but he wanted the relationship to be “less public,” for example, no social media posts about us or pictures of us being posted. This was an obvious red flag, but I wanted to trust him. He cheated on me for almost three years straight with more than one girl. He also had the nerve to constantly question if I was cheating!”
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