Embarrassing sensual experiences are an unfortunate part of life, especially for inexperienced people. These moments often bring a mix of awkwardness, vulnerability, and even humor. While these experiences vary greatly from person to person, they are a reminder that sexuality is a complex and often unpredictable aspect of life.
One user shared, “I went to smack her butt, I ended up smacking my own nuts. I had to soldier on, and I hope she never knew. It was the single most painful feeling I have ever felt. Never again.”
Always Read The Label
A second user divulged, “One night, my roommate’s girlfriend is in the shower screaming bloody murder, which prompts me to investigate. I open the bathroom door to see my roommate drunk, naked, trying to calm his girlfriend, who is doubled over in pain. My roommate discloses that he and his girlfriend used some of the ‘lube’ he found in my drawer. The “lube” was my prescription Acne cream which frequently made my skill peel off my face because of how strong it was.”
A First Attempt
A third user added, “My first attempt at losing my virginity, I had no clue what to do and a non-lubricated condom. I spent a long time trying to get it on me. There was no foreplay and no lube, and the condom just wouldn’t go on. Eventually, the embarrassment lead to a loss of spirit, and I had to go home and figure out how to do it right. Also, it shattered my ego.”
Not Enough Bleach
One person recalled, “The first time I had smex with a girl on top, I guess I didn’t wipe too well. After we did it, there was a stain a foot long on her white sheets. It was really ground into the sheets with all that back and forth… that is not going to come out in one washing.”
A poster commented, “My ex and I were having smex, doing it doggie style. There was a lot of slippage on his part, and it made for lots of air to go in as well. I ended up making air noises from down there so loudly that it scared him, and he lost his ability to perform. Probably not the worst, but certainly the funniest.”
This user said, “I fell asleep in the middle of smex. I thought my gf was gonna slap me. It was during college after pulling an all-night study session. I still think about it sometimes because it seems impossible.’
Like A Bear
One added, “I brought a girl home one night when I still lived with my folks. We were both drunk and very loud. When I woke up, I immediately realized this was not going to be good. There was no way my parents didn’t hear us. The next morning my dad shot me a wink before he left for work. My mom, on the other hand, sat me down and said… I need to have a chat with you… you need to treat girls with more respect… you sounded like a bear last night., you need to be gentle..”
One recalled, “I got a cramp in one of my calves mid-coitus. I leaped out of the bed and hit the ground with a loud thud. I couldn’t walk correctly for two whole days!”
This commenter said, “Having smex for the 3rd time ever with my first serious girlfriend in the back seat of my dad’s Chrysler convertible with a leather interior. The back seat was getting really wet when we both started sticking to the seat. We eventually had to stop because it felt like the seat was trying to rip off our skin. When we returned to the front seat of the car, the dome light revealed that she had bled all over the back. I told my dad the stains were from a spilled coffee….”
Beginning Of The End
A poster shared, “On my wedding night, my new wife decided to give me a B. She was kneeling beside me in the bed, and I was lying down. When I orgasmed, I farted. I truly think that was when things started going downhill. We’re divorced now.”
Tears Of Joy
A top-liked comment said, “I started crying during smex for no reason. I don’t know if I was in pain, or if I was overcome with emotion, or if it just felt reeeeeally good. My boyfriend was freaking out because he thought he did something wrong.”
This user shared, “It was a zombie pub crawl, had 3 girls come to visit one of them was an ex, and a long night of drinking led to me sneaking off with a friend of my exes. We were covered in fake blood, bites, and cuts for our zombie costumes. Upright citizens witnessed hanky panky through the window of my first-floor apartment and called the cops. My roommates watched me get almost arrested butt naked in the middle of having fun because they thought I was assaulting her. The girl had to stand there naked in front of the cops, my roommates, and her “best friend,” explaining to them that I wasn’t hurting her.”
One user divulged, “The absolute hottest girl I ever hooked up with, and it took me forever to get it up, and then she gave me the clap.”
A commenter said, “On my first night in a new apartment, I had my girlfriend at the time come over to help me christen the place. I had just gotten out of the army and had no furniture yet, just an inflatable mattress on the floor. The next day the landlord called and said we had no less than six noise complaints that night. It turns out the end of the air mattress when flapping up and down, was generating hurricane-force winds directly at the bedroom door, which was just loose enough in its frame to slam repeatedly, shaking the whole end of this poorly constructed wing of the apartment building. So, great first impression with the new neighbors.”
This user shared, My girlfriend at the time and I were going at it in her bedroom. Her mom walks in and just stands there, shocked. When my girlfriend sees her mom, she screams. I jump up and turn around to see her mom standing there. Then her dad walks in. He looks me up and down and says, ‘Well, the door was unlocked. I didn’t think it was a problem to walk on in. We’ll give you a few minutes to dress, and how about dinner? I turn back around, and my girl is hiding her face as it would help at this point.
A poster added, “Hooked up with a dude I was crushing on. After a long make-out sesh, we finally get intimate, it’s awesome, and we’re all smiles until he pulls out and sees blood everywhere. He gets up and slightly yells, “You’re bleeding!” I quickly grab my clothes and run to the bathroom to clean up. I come out as he’s putting his blankets in the wash and asks if I’m ok. I say, “Yeah, but I’m gonna go.” He walks me to the door, and as I’m walking out, he says, “What, no hug?” at this point, I’m completely mortified, so I just high-fived him and left.”
This Redditor recalled, “In high school, I was in my game room with my girlfriend at the time, watching a movie on the couch. My parents were on vacation for a week, and my grandparents were staying over. My girlfriend and I start making out, and eventually, she goes down. This is the first time I’ve ever had oral. Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. She dives off the couch, and I nearly poop myself. I look out, and it’s my grandma standing a little to the right of the door with her hands on her face. It was dark, and I hoped to god she didn’t see. I went over and opened the door (after putting my pants on, of course), and she just kinda told me that she was going to bed and walked off. The next day she just told me to “be careful.” It was awkward for a few months afterward, but it’s alright now.”
A top-liked comment said, “I was going down on a girl. I got a massive nosebleed. Ruined almost everything I touched, and it got all over her. It looked like a CSI crime scene.”
A commenter said, “I was fooling around with a friend in my backyard pool. He started going down on me (I’m a guy), and after a few minutes, my mom walked in on us. The scream she let out was horrific. I don’t think anyone could scream louder. That was my first and only experimentation.”
If This Vans A-Rockin’
Finally, a Redditor shared, “In high school, this girl I liked took me into her garage to show me her parents’ cars. Her dad had one of those old VW van/camper buses. We started going at it, and I forgot that her parents were still home. Right as I was about to finish in her dad’s car, he knocked on the window.” Source: Reddit
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