First dates can be exciting and feel full of potential, but certain turn-offs and red flags can quickly derail the experience. One major turn-off is a lack of basic manners, such as being rude or dismissive towards others, as it reflects poorly on a person’s character. Excessive phone usage during a date can signal disinterest and a lack of engagement, making the other person feel unimportant. Most importantly, poor hygiene, including bad breath or unkempt appearance, is a big red flag that can leave a lasting negative impression.
One user shared, “I went on a date with a girl. This date was a disaster. She got food in her hair and all over the place, she wouldn’t get off her phone, and she stabbed herself in the cheek with her fork because she wasn’t paying attention. I’ve never seen her since.”
Watch The Door
A second user said, “Here is a great story, first date in college. I drive a truck and live in a city. So spots are tight. This spot is particularly tight. So I say, “This is a tight spot, so watch your door when you open it.” She said, “Are you telling me how to open my door??” Doesn’t pay basic attention and slams the door into the other car.”
A third user added, “Repeatedly interrupting me when I’m talking, especially when I’m answering a question they asked. It tells me they’re not actually engaged in what I’m saying.”
Someone posted, “I went on a date recently with a girl who asked me what my credit score was, and she told me she asks every guy she goes on a date with what his credit score is. She wants to make sure they’re financially stable. Also, she’s 23 and doesn’t know how to pump gas.”
This poster commented, “Self-deprecating to the point where everything needs to be somehow connected in a negative way back to yourself. Like literally everything. While chatting, it’s even more obvious, sad face all the time, “I’m dumb, I don’t deserve what I’ve achieved,” etc.”
A commenter said, “If they are hard to talk to. It might not make them a bad person, but obviously, there is no chemistry if all I get are one-word answers where they also don’t reciprocate questions.”
Know It All
One user recalled, “Being a know it all. I had lunch with someone who called the table salt “sodium chloride” and used the bread as a way to tell me everything he knew about complex carbohydrates (some of which wasn’t even correct) and their connections to evolutionary theory. Just felt like he was compensating for something.”
This commenter added, “Getting so drunk on the first date that you can’t figure out Uber, and I have to drive you home. No, you can’t stay on my couch. I don’t know you.”
A poster shared, “Someone who doesn’t ask about me. It shows that they don’t actually care.”
Too Much Phone Time
A top-liked comment said, “On their phone the whole time. If you can’t disconnect for an hour or so to engage with me, then it won’t work.”
Someone added, “They talk over me and spend the conversation giving me unsolicited advice about how to live my life.”
This commenter posted, “The amount of guys who think “negging” is a good flirting technique is ridiculous. Contrary to what you read on wikiHow, insulting a girl doesn’t make her want to impress you. It just makes her realize you’re a d*ck.”
A user recalled, “I was set up to go on a blind date with this girl. We were given each other’s email addresses, so I hit her up. We exchanged a few pleasantries, then set up a date/time to finally meet. The day of, I got an email from her in the morning with an attachment. I opened up the attachment, and there was a questionnaire with like 25-30 questions on it. She requested I kindly fill out the questionnaire before we meet. I quickly reviewed the questions before sending her a reply saying it’s probably best we don’t meet.”
Having A Snack
This person added, “I was on a double date with this one girl. She seemed really cool, and I was having fun on the date. Then she stuck her pinky in her ear to scratch and pulled out some ear wax. That was a little gross. But then she ate the ear wax. I decided right then not to go on a second date.”
A top-liked comment said, “They have zero opinions on anything. If I’m going to date someone, I want some brains or passion going on up there….”
This user said, “Hygiene, or lack of hygiene. Especially body odor and bad breath, it’s not hard to take care of these things, brush your teeth and wear deodorant.”
Someone added, “People that smoke, I don’t hate people who smoke particularly, but my parents smoked so much that I promised never to date someone who smoked.”
A poster commented, “If all they talk about is how bad all their exes are. If all your exes are psycho, the chances are the problem is you.
Falling In Love
This user shared, “If someone tells you they are IN LOVE WITH YOU after one day together. They might try to move into your house, then try to attack you when you ask them to leave!”
You Remind Me Of….
Finally, a user posted, “If they remind me of my dad. I love my dad, honestly, but if someone smells like him or reminds me of him, it’s a no-go.”
Men and women discuss habits or behaviors they find immediately off-putting on a first date. Many of the common deal-breakers that ruin a first date are things like rudeness, disrespect, constant phone usage, poor hygiene, and self-centered behavior. Another common experience that users shared was when their date talked too much about their ex.
This can be a huge red flag to many people because it signals that either they’re not over their ex or that they might be the “crazy one” in their past relationship(s). Overall, the responses reveal a range of deal-breakers that can hinder a successful first date. That said, it’s important to remember that everyone’s preferences and tolerances vary. However, some really good pointers about what not to talk about or do on a first date can be taken away from their responses.
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