It’s extremely hard to keep kids sheltered from pretty much anything anymore, especially with the access to the technology they and those around them have. Children are, unfortunately, learning a lot sooner about things they don’t necessarily need to know about at a young age.
On the flip side, unfortunately, some children are also being sheltered too much by their parents and are not learning things they need to know about growing up. One woman was shocked to learn that her boyfriend’s daughter was never taught about an important topic that many young ladies experience at some point. So she felt the need to educate her on the topic, which then created a firestorm of epic proportions with the girl’s mother.
The original poster (OP) said after being in a relationship with her boyfriend for 5 years. They decided to move in together. She said their relationship has been quite slow in progress because both of them have hang-ups from previous relationships, and they didn’t want to rush into anything.
Blended Family Dynamic
Her boyfriend has a 14-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and he shares custody with his ex. She went on to say that despite his and his ex having a child when they were too young, he is a good father and tries to be there for his daughter as much as possible.
A Bonded Relationship
OP says she’s really fond of his daughter, and over the five years that they’ve been dating, she has grown very close with his daughter. After she had moved into her boyfriend’s house and got settled, she took her boyfriend’s daughter aside one day to show her where she was keeping her sanitary products and told her if she was ever running low or had an emergency, she could help herself. She also told her that if she has a specific type or brand, she likes to let her know, and she’ll keep that stocked as well.
No Prior Knowledge About Sanitary Products
To her surprise, the 14-year-old had no idea what the sanitary products were and was very confused as she didn’t understand what she was talking about. OP says it’s not strange not to have a cycle at her age but feels it might be a bit uncommon for her to be totally clueless. It was a shock to her. OP ended up giving her a brief talk explaining the menstrual cycle, why it happens, and how she’ll likely get it sooner rather than later.
The Boyfriend Discussion
Later that day, she ended up speaking to her boyfriend in private, telling him what had happened and how his daughter had no clue about any of this. She said he was confused by this because he thought her mother and school would teach her about the topic. He ended up calling his ex, demanding to know what was going on and why she had no clue about the menstrual cycle.
This resulted in a huge fight between him and his ex because, apparently, she felt there was no need for her to know anything about the menstrual cycle before she had to. Her opinion about it was that it would keep her daughter from making the same mistakes they did, and she had her excused from the lessons on the menstrual cycle at school.
Where Things Stand
Her boyfriend’s ex was livid that she had told her about the menstrual cycle and said that it wasn’t her place. She then demanded their daughter come home as she didn’t want her around OP anymore. Her boyfriend made it clear that wasn’t happening as his week is part of their custody arrangement. She says her boyfriend has defended her fiercely against his ex and is very angry that his ex has put their daughter in this position.
OP feels like she made a mess of the situation and feels awful that her boyfriend and his ex are now fighting about it. She thinks she didn’t handle the situation properly but wasn’t aware it would’ve gotten so out of control.
The Internet Weighs In
One Redditor said, “Nta. If you are blaming yourself for their fight, stop. Even if you had told him first, he would still be angry at his ex.”
A second Redditor said, “OP is NTA for assuming she had at least some knowledge of the menstrual cycle. Heck, I’ve been having semi-regular talks with my 8-year-old to make sure she’s not going to freak out when the time comes.”
A third Redditor said, “Op, you are NTA. You were literally being a responsible woman who has a teen girl in her home showing her where stuff was… the fact that she knew nothing is not on you.”
More Reactions to The Original Poster
Another user stated, “You did the right thing, OP. The daughter is lucky to have you. NTA.”
Finally, a Redditor had this to say, “You are NTA. TA is the mom. She didn’t want to tell her but let the kid figure it out the day she went to the bathroom and saw blood everywhere. Yeah. Real good mom.”
Redditors thought the girlfriend did the right thing by speaking with the daughter.
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