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The Wedding Bells Are Coming: 20 Essential Conversations Before Saying “I Do”

Prior to getting married, it is essential for couples to engage in open and honest conversations about various topics to ensure that they share the same vision for their future and have aligned expectations as a couple, including potential plans for starting a family. These discussions play a crucial role in establishing a strong foundation for a successful future together.

Recently, a thread on this subject prompted insightful and sometimes humorous responses, highlighting the importance of addressing these key topics before taking the leap into marriage.

Extended Family

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One reader said, “How to deal with in-laws. I can’t stress this enough!”

Family Time

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A top-liked comment mentioned, “Holiday expectations.” 

To which another replied, “This for sure! Some people like to hang out with their family A LOT over the holidays.”


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This user added, “What happens if one of you gets into an accident.”

A user replied, “If you are ever in a life or death situation. What do you want to happen?”


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One commenter said, “Whether or not you’re comfortable with having your partner hang out with their preferred sexual attraction, for example, if your husband hangs out with other females.”

A second commenter replied, “If your S.O. is going to be jealous, WALK AWAY NOW. From your S.O .that is. Unless of course, YOU just can’t be a friend to someone of the opposite sex. Figure this out yourself (and them too).”


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This reader said, “⁠Expectations of cleanliness.”

A second reader added, “Bathroom maintenance. And I’m not even kidding.”

Large Purchases

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One user added, “⁠How big a purchase should be discussed with the other partner before spending money.”

Keeping It Fresh

This poster said, “⁠How to keep “dating” each other when married and not let the relationship stagnate.”

Child Care

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A top liked comment said, “⁠If/when a child is in the picture, how the care will be divided between the two of you.”

Parental Care

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A user shared, “⁠Plans for parental care when they’re too old to care for themselves.”


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This user mentioned, ⁠”Living wills and power of attorney.” 

A top liked comment mentioned, “We definitely discussed funeral arrangements.”

Medical Proxy

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Another user said, “Do not resuscitate orders, what to do if one spouse is in a coma, or breathing apparatus. Should artificial nutrition and antibiotics still be delivered if this happens.”

Bathroom Issues

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One reader added, “How the toilet paper should hang, seriously, this is a big issue between me and my wife. She hangs it the wrong way, toward the wall, and I hang it the right way, facing out. We often still, argue about this, as well as putting a new roll on the holder.

Family Health History

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A user said, “Discuss any sort of hereditary family health issues and do not shy away from mental health discussions. This sort of stuff is going to be a large factor in your later life, and can have an impact if you are planning on having children.”

Sleep Schedules

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Another commenter added, “You and your partner’s sleep schedules. It sounds silly, but that is something that no one thinks to talk about, and when you are sharing a bed it can take its toll on your sleep, and your relationship super quickly.”


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Another user added, “Temperature, especially while sleeping at night. Even assuming you’ve slept over with each other, it’s different when you live together and it’s a shared space rather than one person going by the other person’s norms. And trust me, it can be a big issue.”

Parenting Styles

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A poster shared, “Not just if/how many kids, but your parenting styles and how you want to raise your kids. If you aren’t consistent with it, your child might have a hard time learning boundaries for what’s right and wrong, which can put a lot of strain on a relationship.”


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This user commented, “Where do you want to live? If they’re okay living away from family and friends. And do they prefer big cities or small towns or living in the woods?”


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This user said, “Who is going to pay the bills? This is NOT ‘who makes the money’ rather who is going to make sure the checks are written each month.” 


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This Redditor added, “If you’re both going to work, only one of you, or what happens when one spouse makes significantly more money than the other? Also are your career paths congruent, for example, will you move if your spouse’s big promotion comes up and they have to move to L.A. now.”

The Unexpected

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Finally, a reader said, “How will you handle unexpected large bills, for example, if you’re hot water heater breaks.”

Source: Reddit

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