Sadly sometimes, people find themselves in relationships that are far from safe and happy as they should be, but they choose to stay even with the obvious signs of decay between them. There are various reasons why people might choose to stay in bad relationships, even with the emotional toil they go through. Whether it’s the fear of being alone or the hope their partner will change. Whatever the reason may be, we often find ourselves staying more often than leaving.
One Redditor said, “It was my first relationship, and I’d been single a long time before that. I just didn’t want to go back to being alone again. I knew it wasn’t healthy for me, but I thought it was better than being alone.”
A second Redditor shared, “Fear that if I left her, I would eventually find out she took her own life.”
A third Redditor commented, “She is among the most gorgeous people I’ve ever met. And also, I preferred being unhappy in a relationship to being unhappy alone.”
This user added, “I loved his family and feared they wouldn’t speak to me again. We lived together and had a dog together. I didn’t think I could do it alone. He ended up leaving me. Haven’t spoken to his family in months.”
Lack Of Self-Esteem
A user commented, “I was in an emotionally abusive marriage with an OB/GYN. We met in college and were an amazing team for a while. I quit my career to raise the two kids she wanted. I could not leave for years because, although I longed for someone kind, I knew no one would compare, and I wasn’t half the catch I was at 19.
A top-liked comment said, “Money… I don’t have enough a month to live independently and still haven’t found a solution to that problem. We’re okay as roommates, though, for the most part, usually… it sucks tho.”
A Redditor mentioned, “Kids and a fear that no one else would ever love me. Now single for the first time in my life at 45 and still scared, at least the kids are grown.”
A poster recalled, “I stayed for unreal s****. Finally realized how much I was hurting myself and walked.”
This user said, “Being emotionally manipulated and abused to the point where I thought no one else would love me, and I was lucky that even he put up with me.”
One user had this to share, “Emotional numbness. I never stopped to think about how I was FEELING, and I just existed and let him treat me like a doormat. Cause I didn’t care much and didn’t feel. It took years before I left.”
Lack Of Self-Respect
A Redditor commented, “I was miserable and had no respect for myself. My partner walked all over me, and I let it happen.”
Fear Of The Unknown
A top-liked comment said, “Not knowing how to end it and the fear of hurting another her. So instead, I stayed miserable.”
This Redditor added, “Love. I did love him deeply even though I knew he was too messed up to form a healthy relationship.”
One user mentioned, “Financial dependency and the feeling that I needed someone to guide me through life.”
The Wrong Reasons
A poster shared, “He wouldn’t let me drive the car I helped buy. He didn’t want me to go to college. He wanted my money. I got out of there, but it was hard.”
This user said, “It was mutually convenient, and we worked together. We were both in the military and agreed that when she went on deployment, we would break up.”
Being Too Nice
A user added, “I felt like they needed me. I was too nice to put them on the street, so I waited until they got a new job and had some positive things going on in their life….”
In Need Of Change
One Redditor mentioned, “Finances and sunk cost fallacy. Ultimately, I took a good hard look at my life and determined I needed change. It was the best and hardest decision of my life to leave.”
This Redditor shared, “I was too naive to realize he was taking advantage of me. He was older than me, and I just thought this is what a relationship was.”
Finally, a Redditor said, “I didn’t know it could, and should, be better. I just knew you had to work hard at a relationship.”
Readers shared their motivation for staying in bad relationships, and it seems that most individuals feared being alone and facing the uncertainty of starting over. However, some added reasons that included financial dependence, social/familial pressure, and low self-esteem. Many also held onto hope that their partner would change or improve, believing that their efforts could salvage the relationship. As unfortunate as these comments are, all of these reasons can contribute to unhealthy dynamics in relationships.
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