Unmasking the Cringe: When Romance Goes Awry
Romance and being romantic can be difficult! Especially if you’re trying to win someone over with something that was done in a movie or isn’t genuine. Men are especially guilty of this! Many times when trying to win the affection of a romantic partner, people will over-step what someone considers romantic and encroach into cringeworthy territory. Women may find certain behaviors or traits in men to be cringey or off-putting. These could include things like excessive bragging, being overly aggressive or pushy, using cheesy pick-up lines, or failing to read social cues and boundaries.
One Redditor shared, “I had a man sit me down and play a terrible song on a guitar for me. I know his heart was in the right place, but it was like 4 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact through AWFUL singing and guitar playing where I felt like I had to act like I was swooning the whole time.”
This Redditor said, “I once had a date seductively sit me down, then he stood back up and proceeded to do a twenty-five minute, only occasionally funny stand-up routine. He was a firefighter with a slight lisp, and it was all very confusing.”
This Redditor shared, “My brother would go to the bar/restaurant with blueprints and act like a big wig contractor trying to get work done while sipping a beer.”
One Size Fits All
This user said, “Applying a one-size fits all mentality for romantic gestures. Some individuals would love grand romantic gestures, but just because it worked in a romantic comedy or “chick flick” does not mean it will work in a real-life.” setting.
A user said, “Unexpected public proposals. I’ve seen so many unfortunate videos from guys who propose in a stadium and don’t know the answer to their question before asking.”
A Redditor shared, “I don’t know really what men think is romantic, but something I’ve seen that makes me cringe is loud public displays of affection. For example, I was walking downtown once and this guy had a 4 piece band with him playing something while he proposed to his girlfriend. I died of second-hand embarrassment.”
One Redditor shared, “Diamond necklaces from mall jewelry stores. I love jewelry, but the stuff they come up with every Valentine’s Day is not only overpriced but ugly as sin. I swear “chocolate” diamonds exist to prey on unsuspecting men into thinking, “Well, she likes chocolate and diamonds. She MUST like chocolate diamonds, right? Right?”
This user added, “A dude left a romantic letter (which contained a poem he had written) and a rose (sprinkled with his cologne) in our mailbox to my sister in high school after being rejected multiple times. She could barely read it to us through her tears of laughter.”
One Redditor shared, “The compliment, “goddess.” Some women may like this, but I find it so over the top that it’s glib and insincere. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal or be a goddess.”
Another Redditor replied, “Alternatively, the compliment(?) “unicorn.” As in, “You’re such a rare type of woman. You’re like a unicorn.” Had this said to me once. No. Just no.”
This user replied, “Thinking they can go through a planned (romantic) script to talk to me instead of just talking to me like a normal person. A guy I barely knew suddenly sent me several text messages of poetry, telling me in flowery language how my hair was “like spun silk,” my “voice like music,” etc. I had not given him my phone number, and we did not have close friends in common, so I never replied. I do not want exaggerated poetry about myself out of nowhere.”
This user added, “I don’t know what men tend to think is romantic, but prolonged eye contact or “dreamy” staring at me is awful and awkward!”
A top-liked comment said, “Doing every damn thing for me. I don’t need you to do my laundry and personal chores (obviously, in a partnership, I like having help with domestic chores), but I dated a guy who insisted on doing EVERYTHING. It wasn’t romantic!”
This user shared, “I hate when men insist on paying for everything and/or trying to take me shopping for clothes or something. I can see how that type of thing might be romantic eventually, but it was a new relationship, and he wanted to buy me “something nice” to wear, and it was just really f*cking weird.”
One Redditor proclaimed, “Too much clinginess. “Do you miss me?” No, I saw you yesterday.”
A user mentioned, “When I broke up with my boyfriend before my current one, he said, ‘I’ll love you forever. I’ll never stop loving you.’ He went on to say something along the lines of ‘no one will ever love you as I do’ and ‘You’ll never have another good relationship.”
This Redditor stated, “Very rough and very public back rubs. No one thinks it’s romantic when they walk by a man molesting their date’s back and shoulders.”
One user shared, “Coming to my bedroom window instead of the goddamned front door. I woke up to a guy I went on a couple of dates with on my back porch, leaving me something!”
Ordering For You
A Redditor said, “Ordering for you at a restaurant. Didn’t realize this was actually a thing until then. “We’ll both get a bud light” …uh what? I don’t automatically want what you’re having. It ain’t cute to do that.”
This Redditor shared, “I find it cringy when men indicate they already have a ring picked out/ proposal planned. Not because they want to be engaged but because they had those things waiting in the wings.”
This user said, “Putting a truckload of cologne on, spray it on but don’t overkill it. Some dudes spray it like a romantic attraction hairspray, and it’s just too much overpour and STANK!”
Finally, a Redditor said, “Trying to feed me from your fork/spoon. Unless I broke both my hands in a freak accident, I’m just going to feel weird about it. This dude thought he was being all sweet and caring, but it was more like, “choo choo, here comes the train!”
Redditors sure found some things that are actually so very cringy instead of romantic.
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