22 Reasons Why Men Stopped Being Intimate with a Woman
We all know what it’s like to be in a new relationship. Everything is always hot and heavy, and the intimacy usually is top-notch. But, after a while, that spark can fade or go out entirely.
Recently a person came to Reddit and asked the question, “Men who stopped being intimate with their partner during the relationship, what was your reasoning?” This one got interesting fast!
Personal Hygiene
One Redditor said, “An ex of mine stopped showering when covid lockdowns began. She said she had no reason to shower since she didn’t have to go into the office. I found it absolutely disgusting.”
Another added, “My ex really let her hygiene slip when she lost her job. It got to the point where twice when we were going out to meet people, I was embarrassed and had to like ask her to go into the bathroom and wash up.”
Always Initiating Intimacy
One user commented, “A few years into my first marriage, I eventually noticed that I was the only one initiating any intimacy or affection (hugs, kisses, touching, etc.), so I made a point to stop initiating one day to see how long it would take her to either initiate herself or say something. Over six weeks of nothing, she finally asked if something was wrong.”
Abusive Relationship
A user replied, “She was abusive to me. Physically, verbally, and mentally. She would explode at me at any given moment over any little thing (like locking the back door when she didn’t want it locked, or if I dressed our infant in an outfit she didn’t like) at any unexpecting moment. I was walking on eggshells at all times.”
Another user added, “Sounds like my ex. I broke up with her 2 weeks before our 2 year anniversary on Valentine’s Day. I completely cut her off this past Sunday because she blew up at me over her not wanting to move her car around the driveway for her house tenant.”
Became Overweight
A man commented, “She got fat, and I wasn’t as attracted to her anymore.”
A second Redditor replied, “Weight gain. Fat isn’t sexy, and watching rolls flubber is a major turn-off.’
No Longer Compatible
One Redditor wrote, “The only times I stopped being intimate with girlfriends was because we just weren’t compatible, and I was planning the softest breakup I could give her.”
A second user replied, “She didn’t want to anymore. Whenever I tried to initiate, she would reject me for months. I tried to talk to her about what I could do differently, what would help her relax/ get in the mood/ if there are any unfulfilled desires.”
Plain Old Tired
A user commented, “If you mean having sex, then it is mostly because we’re tired. My wife is a Peds ER doc; I have full-time job + community positions, and, most importantly, we have a toddler that is high energy and a bad sleeper.”
Out of Shape
A man commented, “I got older, and I failed to keep myself in shape. Just didn’t have the energy younger-me had.”
Another added, “I got tired, overweight, exhausted, stressed. We became pretty unhappy altogether.”
Constant Rejection
A Redditor replied, “When my ex stopped wanting sex. If you say no long enough, a man will stop asking.”
A second user commented, “Too many nights of trying to set up a sexy evening from a nice dinner to flirty touching talking than being rejected.”
A third comment read, “I don’t ever recall her telling me no, but she was never enthusiastic about it nor initiated it, and I don’t want to feel like her having sex with me was a chore.”
Boring in Bed
One man replied, “she got boring in bed.”
A second man added, “she became very passive. I sort of got bored and lost interest. Can’t even get aroused with the thought of it.”
No Longer Fun
A Redditor commented, “Dead fish aren’t any fun. A woman who just lies there and expects you to pleasure her without making any effort to reciprocate isn’t someone I’m gonna keep trying to be with.”
Another user added, “She would only do missionary or doggy, two positions that do absolutely nothing for me.”
Told To Hurry
One man replied, “she will douse some cold water on s**t by scolding me for something stupid, or telling me to hurry up – it is so annoying. It’s like waiting for days to get 20 minutes of affection, and you gotta spoil it? I’m over it.”
Too Much Work
A most liked comment read, “do this to me, do that to me, do everything, and I’ll just take it” it sounds hot, but after a while this is just work for me, after a long day of working my ass off at everything else. Nope, I’d rather sleep.”
Addicted To Porn
A Redditor replied, “I was addicted to p**n, which turned into ED, which spiraled my low self-esteem even further down the toilet.”
A second Redditor said, “P**n. Too much p**n. I had to realize I was addicted and begin the healing process. Still watch here and there but not nearly as much as I used to. It became an addiction I used to deal with the stress of my relationship. Which was REALLY stressful, so you can imagine how much po**in I was doing.”
Didn’t Want Children (with their partner)
One user commented, “I know she wants sex partly because she wants kids, and I’m not completely comfortable with that. I also want kids, but with her? How will she treat me during pregnancy and parenthood? Sometimes I avoid sex because I don’t want to find out.”
A Redditor replied to the above comment with, “As soon as you knock her up, it’s over. She will completely shut down because she got what she was there for.”
A third said, “I thought we wanted kids, but apparently, she didn’t. After that, I felt a little guilty about any unprotected sex, like I was doing something wrong trying to sneak in a baby or something. I decided I’d wait until she initiated, and she never did. RIP relationship.”
Mixed Signals
One Redditor said, “Over the years, things changed in a weird way. She wouldn’t even say no, she would just say some nonsensical bull**** that I assumed I was supposed to interpret as a no.”
Too Much Effort
A user replied, “I realized I was giving more effort than I was getting. She was a one-trick pony and wouldn’t try to get any better or learn something new.”
Birth Control
One Redditor added, “She was on the birth control shot. It all but wiped out her smex drive totally, to the point where she found sex disgusting and stopped initiating at all.”
Resentment
A comment read, “Resentment. My ex-wife seemed to love conflict and said some pretty nasty things to me In arguments. After a while, as it continues, you begin to lose respect for that person, and then attraction fades as well.”
A second Reddito replied, “She got the idea that I would get her pregnant as a way of controlling her. So I stopped all sexual contact. We separated 7 months later.”
Cheating
A Redditor commented, “I suspected, and then confirmed, that she was cheating and didn’t want intimacy with someone who could be actively sleeping with other folks. And I stupidly stayed with her, believing it was just a mistake / one-time thing, and later on found out she was trying to cheat with several different guys, still active on dating sites, and lying about a ton of things.”
Too Childish
One user replied, “She acted like a child too much, which was a big turn-off. Her inability to adult mixed with her baby talk really killed it for me.”
Loss of Attraction
One man said, “Lack of physical attractiveness coupled with some oddities in her personality that made me less attracted to her overall. Basically, she never seemed to smile or be excited about life and sucked at responding to texts, answering calls, and when she did text back, it was like talking to Ben Stein or having the driest conversation about a boring topic.”
A second replied, “I guess somewhere along the line, my attraction to her just faded. Don’t get me wrong, we still have sex occasionally, but not nearly as much as she would like or as much as I would like, for that matter. We still cuddle and talk, which I think is true intimacy. I’m vulnerable with her still, which goes a long way, I suppose.”
Libidos Slowed Down
A Redditor replied, “Our libidos slowed as we aged, though we hadn’t stopped completely, just not constantly like when we were young, lol.”
The men of Reddit gave some great and understandable reasons as to why they were no longer intimate with their spouses. What about you? Are you still intimate with your significant other? If not, why not?
This post was inspired by the internet and does not reflect the views of Neon Moon.
You Might Also Like:
