woman holds up hand to show stop

Things That Changed or Stopped a Couple’s Intimacy Frequency All Together

As humans age, we desire different things in our relationships, and each individual’s wants and needs can vary greatly from not only person to person but relationship to relationship. One of the big issues in many relationships is the act of being intimate. Everyone is always talking and comparing about having it all the time or not at all.

Needing More That Just The Act

Happy couple hugging and laughing
Image credit: Depositphotos VeronikaGorBO.

One Redditor shared, “For us, it was a lack of innocent intimacy, hugs, kisses, cuddling, etc… Don’t come and start loving on me only when you want to be intimate. I’m more deserving than just that.”

We Grew Apart

Man and woman upset on couch
Image credit: Depositphoto wavebreakmedia.

This Redditor shared, “We had emotionally grown apart. It’s hard for me to want to be physically intimate with someone when we aren’t connecting on other levels.”

Birth Control

Woman looking away from her boyfriend trying to kiss her
Image credit: Depositphotos AntonioGuillemF.

A user said, “Hormonal birth control killed my libido, and I was flat-out uninterested in it. It had nothing to do with him. Unfortunately, before I realized what it was, the relationship was over.”

Being Unhelpful

angry couple
Image Credit: Depositphotos – photography33

This Redditor said, “He made me carry all the mental load of the household and basically became another child I had to worry about and manage. I’m not interested in being intimate with someone I have to take care of like an additional child.”

Deteriorating Relationship

man and woman standing with a wall between them looking upset
Image credit: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia.

This user shared, “I didn’t stop intentionally, and at the time, I had no idea why I didn’t want to be intimate with him anymore. In hindsight, it was because our relationship was deteriorating, and I am wired to be incapable of wanting someone unless I have a close, healthy emotional bond with them. I just didn’t realize that was the reason at the time.”

Unequal Treatment

Vacillating Personalities couple sitting upset on the couch
Image credits: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia

A top-liked comment said, “He only wanted to receive. He never wanted to give. Constantly pleasing him was exhausting when there was nothing in return for me!”

No Connection

Couple sitting on the bed facing away from each other
Image credit: Depositphotos nd3000.

This Redditor confided, “I have been in a sexless marriage for 17 years! Reasons changed over time. Started with my husband rejecting my initiating for years. He said it was work stress-related and then morphed into performance anxiety ( ED ) – none of which he shared at the time with me despite my begging to understand what was happening with him. After many years of that and constant rejection, I lost interest in trying to connect on any level.”

Trying Too Hard

woman looking awkwardly to the side
Image credits: Depositphotos nicoletaionescu.

This Redditor wrote, “He stopped engaging in any kind of non-physical intimacy. Wanna cuddle on the couch? Time to get groped. Need a hug after a long day? It was a big turn-off.”

Lack Of Confidence

man looking worried
Image credit: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia.

This user stated, “My libido is inextricably linked to my self-confidence. Being filled with dread at the thought of taking my clothes off isn’t exactly a turn-on for me.”

Treated Poorly

Young couple screaming at home in the kitchen.
Image credit: Depositphotos.

This user said, “I got tired of feeling like a doll. It was always about him, and I didn’t even feel like a person when he was intimate with me, just a thing that existed so he could get off.

The Flame Went Out

man and woman sitting at a dinner table looking bored
Image credit: Depositphotos dima_sidelnikov.

This Redditor said, “With my ex-husband, it was a number of things that he did that added up to our intimate life ending. It wasn’t a conscious decision….the desire just disappeared, and I wasn’t able to make it come back. When we moved in together, I started to feel more like a caretaker/mother to him.”

Porn Addiction

Image credit: Depositphotos Krakenimages.com.

A user wrote, “He was watching so much porn that he didn’t want to have it with me. It hurt me too. I envied people who would complain their husbands wanted them too much. I never thought I’d ever be jealous of that. It was confusing and difficult and heartbreaking.”

Smexless Snowball

couple upset and looking away
Image credits: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia.

A Redditor reported, “For me, it was a number of different issues, and it just continued to snowball from there. Kids: Absolute exhaustion, undiagnosed PPD, carrying the full mental and physical load of home life. Stress: work, finances, relationships, kids. Terrible body confidence because of kids, no time to go to the gym, being too stressed, and no money for ‘luxuries.”


woman crying with head down
Image credits: Depositphotos rayp808.

A Redditor said, “Resentment causing low libido for my husband. The lower my libido got, the less smex we had, the less he ‘helped me’ out at home with the kids, etc., which in turn made my libido even lower. The epic hamster wheel of no smex.”


Teasing: woman and man sitting on a bed away from each other woman crying and man looking upset.
Image credits: Depositphotos Rawpixel.

A Redditor with a top-liked comment said, “Because I didn’t want to willingly give my body to someone who punched holes in walls when I told him it wasn’t OK to wake me up by shoving his fingers inside me.”

Being An Option

Admitted An Affair: man and woman sitting looking upset at the woman’s phone man looks guilty.
Image credit: Depositphotos AntonioGuillemF.

This user said, “He put everything else before me: his job, his golf buddies, and his preferences for spending his time on weekends. I purposely cut him off and let him know that if I’m not a priority to him, then being intimate with him isn’t a priority to me. He found it elsewhere.”


man looking upset with his hand on his head. Wife is behind him upse
Image credit: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia.

According to this user, “Lexapro was the reason. We went from having smex every time we saw each other to maybe 2-3 times in almost a year. The few times we had smex were not that good. We didn’t realize it was the medicine until about 8-9ish months in, and it ended up causing a lot of fights. I changed to Wellbutrin, and I was fixed!”

Crossed Boundaries

Man looking annoyed, eye rolling woman looking shocked at him
Image credit: Depositphotos GeorgeRudy.

This Redditor stated, “One night, he was drunk and kept pushing for smex when I said no. I finally said ok but that we had to use a condom since I wasn’t on birth control at the time but also on my period, but he kept pushing and pushing until it happened, and the thing I remember most was having to clean up the bloody sheets. At the same time, he just sat there on his phone afterward. Basically, broken boundaries gave me the irreversible ick.”

Fell Out Of Love

Freckles woman with freckles
Image credits: Depositphotos mangostock.

A user mentioned, “I didn’t love him anymore, and it took me three years to actually admit it to myself.”


three people sitting on a bench showing two are cheating and holding hands
Image credit: Depositphotos Wavebreakmedia.

Finally, a Redittor simply said, “He cheated. The thought of touching him grossed me out after that.”

The stories shared by these brave Redditors show that stopping smex with a partner can happen for a variety of reasons and that it’s important to prioritize your own needs and boundaries. Whether due to mismatched libidos or deeper relationship issues, it’s clear that communication and self-care are key when it comes to navigating physical intimacy.

Run for the Hills: 10 Female Behaviors That Drive Men Away Instantly

Man Leaving holding his shirt and shoes
Image credit: Depositphotos HayDmitriy.

Run for the Hills: 10 Female Behaviors That Drive Men Away Instantly -Relationships aren’t easy. Some things that people do just won’t fly with you.

Why Men Stopped Being Intimate With a Woman

a man and a women close and in love
Image Credit: Depositphotos -konradbak.

22 Reasons Why Men Stopped Being Intimate with a WomanMen who stopped being intimate with their partner during the relationship, what was your reasoning?” The responses got interesting fast! 

Most People Find These Normally Attractive Things Completely Unattractive

A couple facing each other on a bike in front of the water
Image credit: Depositphotos YuliyaKirayonakBO.

Most People Find These Normally Attractive Things Completely Unattractive We all find different things about a person attractive and, in the inverse, unattractive.

4 Signs There Is Sensual Tension Between You and Someone Else

Man and Woman Kissing wearing a suite and black dress
Image credit: Depositphotos VitalikRadko.

4 Signs There Is Sensual Tension Between You and Someone Else Sensual tension can often be cut with a knife. Sometimes even other people start to notice. 

12 Unspoken Rules From The Female World

Woman wearing red lipstick looking to the side surprised
Image credit: Depositphotos deagreez1.

12 Unspoken Rules From The Female World We each have our unspoken rules. Rules that everyone seems to know but no one actually talks about.

Similar Posts