Have you ever experienced being in a relationship where your acts of kindness and loyalty were not reciprocated, leaving you feeling like you constantly had to put in an excessive amount of effort to please your “friend”? While friendships can be deep and long-lasting connections, they can also be deceiving and superficial. It’s important to be aware of red flags that may indicate underlying issues in our friendships. Let’s explore some of the red flags that readers have observed and reflect on their validity.
One Way Relationship
One user said, “When they never ask about my life. It’s just a one-way blab fest about their never-ending drama.”
A Friend That Bails
A second user shared, “Bailing at tough times. True friendships survive just about everything.”
Can’t Find The Time
A third user added, “Their efforts to meet up. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it tiresome to constantly ask if/when they’re available to grab dinner or hang out.”
This poster commented, “When he tried to convince my friends to “rescue” me from the girl I was dating and saying it was a bad idea for us to be together, and generally trying to cause trouble for our relationship. I think we can all guess why he did this. It did not work.”
A reader posted, “I told my (I thought) best bud that I was going to rehab to deal with my drinking…He cut contact and talked sh****t about me to some mutual friends so they would do the same….”
A poster recalled, “He was my homie until he got promoted. Then he started asking me to work overtime which I didn’t like, especially because my back was hurting. I kept on refusing until one day he yelled saying, ‘YOU WILL WORK OVERTIME!!!”. So naturally, I just went home like I always did, and the following day, this man clearly hated me. This man made it his mission to be as petty as possible. What hurts the most is that before his promotion, we were pretty tight.”
One commenter shared, “Friend, who we’ll call A******ole, slept with my wife. Yep, not a friend at all. Life long best friend, who we’ll call Disappointment, pretty much blamed me for all the bad things in my life when I needed him the most after finding out A**hole was sleeping with my wife. The loneliest moment of my life.”
This user stated, “Dude would ask me things about a girl I was dating, then run and tell her, but only in the worst possible way.”
A poster said, “Had a friend who I talked to almost daily. He eventually unfriended and blocked me, I don’t know why, and it still hurts a bit.”
There But Not Really
This poster shared, “I realized they weren’t my friend when they only knew I existed when they were single. When they needed something. Were lonely, and there was no one else to talk to me, or when they wouldn’t invite me to their weddings/special events and then would B.S. me about it. “Was just a little thing of family. Nothing major.” “Right. Over 150+ church wedding”. “I was just worried that you might embarrass me….” “Well, at least you’re being honest. Now.”
One user commented, “When it was all about her and when I had problems, I was dismissed. Also, when I expressed a boundary, they stopped talking to me.”
All The Work, No Return
A commenter added, “Making me pay for food when we hang out, dropping me to hang out with the people she used to sh****t-talk, ignoring me whenever she gets the chance to talk to her “cool” friends, and worse of all, the things she’s done, she fakes liking my music taste. I wouldn’t have cared if she didn’t like my music taste, but I’m gonna care if she fakes liking it like an absolute poser.”
This poster commented, “Always wants an update on what I’m up to so she can compare it with hers. Jealous when I’m doing good, make false accusations when I choose to keep things private, and sympathize with my current state, which I’m pretty happy with.”
Taken Advantage Of
A user recalled, “Stealing my phone tends to do it. I’m an epilepsy patient, and this friend knew that. yet found it okay to steal my phone. He only returned it after another friend’s dad pressured him into returning my phone. The (now-ex) friend returned the phone after wiping the contacts and bragged about it on Facebook.”
This user shared, “I made the decision to start being more open about my depression that I’ve had for years during the pandemic. I told my best friend of 20 years, and he passed it off as nothing. Nowadays, I only hear from him when he needs something from me.”
Business As Usual
A reader divulged, “When they start prioritizing the money they can make over your friendship…Never start a business with your close friends.”
This commenter said, “With this one friend that I am thinking of, she was using me to mine freebies and essentially trying to befriend me for the nice, shiny stuff I possessed. I cut her out of my life quickly, at least I like to think, but not quickly enough.”
Not Friends To Begin With
A user posted, “When I was thinking about not telling him something big that was bothering me. I worried that he was going to ignore me. Then I realized that he always did and thought if I worried about something like that, it meant that we weren’t really friends, to begin with.”
Never Good Enough
This person added, “Nothing I did was ever good enough for her. She always found something to complain about. I could only handle so much before I exploded.”
20 Years Gone
Finally, a reader shared, “When you helped them raise money for a medical procedure and spent countless hours to raise the funds. Then they get laid off by their company which I had 0 to do with, and they ghost me after 20 years of friendship.”
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