Secret Child: Family Torn Apart by Infidelity and Choosing to Do the Right Thing for a New Child
It can be heartbreaking to find out your spouse is cheating on you. Even more so when there are children involved. However, infidelity reaches a new level when the cheating spouse adds another child to the equation with their mistress/manstress.
One Redditor found out recently that their spouse was involved in an extramarital affair, and now they may be bringing a child into their lives to raise as their own.
Baby Mama Drama
The original poster and her husband have been married for 2 years but have lived together for 5 years. The two met at church. OP started going when she moved cities to start her career. OP works for an insurance company, and her husband is a pastor.
Recently, OP’s husband came home and told OP they needed to talk. He told her through tears that he had been having an affair with one of the church members, and his mistress had become pregnant with twins.
His mistress had gone into labor earlier that day. However, she and one of the twins died, and the other is in the NICU. He said they need to step up and that he wants to turn her home office into a nursery and set up a cot in the room so they can take turns caring for the baby.
The Slap
OP was taken aback by this information and became distressed. She told him she wanted some time to think and that she was not sure she wanted to do this. Her husband slapped her after she made a comment about the mistress passing (which she admitted was wrong) and he responded that she had made a vow to him in marriage and that God had blessed them with a child, and that this is now their cross to bear.
OP said over the past two days, this situation has caused her so much stress and trauma that she has been crying so hard she has been throwing up. She says that even though this woman and her child passed away, she feels bad for herself.
OP also went on to say that she has been saving money to pay for IVF because she does want children. But, now that she has the chance to have a child, she does not want this one. She feels as if this is robbing the mother’s grave.
She also feels that she has now truly seen her husband, and he no longer looks kind and like the man she fell in love with. OP wants to leave her husband, the child, and this situation. She feels like she is young enough, and with having a remote job, she can just get up and leave at any time. However, she also feels that neither her husband and especially the child deserve that.
The Masses Weigh In
Redditors gave their opinion on this messy baby mama drama.
One Redditor responded, “Leave leave leave. You cannot trust this man. You have absolutely no obligation to become his mistress’s child’s mom. This isn’t sister wives. This is all a very unfortunate and sad situation, but you are a hurt party here.”
A second Redditor bluntly said, “God didn’t tell him to knock up a woman outside of his marriage. This whole thing was of your husband’s own making. He is trying to coerce you by abusing yalls’ religion for his own selfish wants. No no no. Leave that manipulative, abusive POS behind.”
A third Redditor said, “OP’s husband also preaches about the “vows” she made, but what about him? I’m sure there’s something about infidelity in there. Such a hypocrite. If the AP hadn’t died, did he even plan to tell OP about this second family? To top it all off, he physically abuses her? OP run from this POS. You know what you need to do and what you want to do. Take a deep breath and RUN. He’s manipulating you with your religion – don’t let him do this, do not let him take this away.”
Another user said, ‘That’s it, plain and simple. The man is an opportunist and will use his “holy words” to paint his actions and needs in whatever light suits him. He talks about their vows when it benefits them (mind you, after slapping his f******* wife) but conveniently ignores his own breaking of vows by cheating on her in the first place!.”
One user offered these words, “Queen you are a 29 year old with your whole life ahead of you. Not a person in this thread is wondering how you got this desperate man. They are all wondering how he got a catch like you. Forget being on someone else’s radar you are steering your own ship and have your own radar. You don’t need to be on a back burner, you are your own fire. You have a career, you had the strength to move once and build a life. You can do anything, just make sure it’s the right thing for you, not someone else disguising their own sins are yours.”
Finally, a user said, “OP, please love yourself enough to leave him. It isn’t “God’s plan” to have you always second guess his behavior, be with someone who didn’t honor his marriage vows, and abused you physically. This guy is manipulative. You only found out about the affair and the pregnancy because his mistress died. If she had lived he’d be set up with a second family with someone closer to his age.”
Source: Reddit
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