Experiencing diarrhea is undoubtedly unpleasant, but certain locations can amplify the distress to a new level. One dreaded situation is finding yourself in the midst of a crowded amusement park, festival, or other large public gathering. The combination of long lines, limited restroom facilities, and the desire to enjoy your time there creates a perfect storm of anxiety. Equally harrowing is being caught in traffic, whether on a busy highway or in the heart of a congested city. The lack of accessible restrooms and the sheer helplessness of being confined to a vehicle make for an incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing experience.
A poster shared, “I went on a date with a girl I liked for a very long time a few months after she broke up with her boyfriend. She said she wanted to go to this new sushi place. I’d never had sushi before but was more than willing to try it for her. About halfway through the meal, I got the bubble guts and excused myself to the bathroom. I absolutely destroyed this toilet. It was awful. It was comin’ out of me like hot lava! When I returned to the table, I was pale white and sweating. The girl came home with me and cared for me because I was sick. We got married a few years ago, the best “worst date” ever!”
International Bus Ride
A second user added, “I’ll tell you from personal experience. The worst place is on a 24-hour international bus ride with only one stop.”
While House Hunting
This user commented, “I was house hunting with my soon-to-be wife and our realtor. We were out celebrating our engagement with some out-of-town friends the night before. As we got to the first house, I felt my stomach drop and realized I never took a “hang-over number two” at home. I tried to soldier on and figured I could quickly stop at a gas station. I was wrong. About 5 minutes into seeing this house, my stomach was ready to explode. I excused myself by saying I left my phone in the car and ran outside. I saw two garbage cans between the house and the detached garage, and it was there that I left a pair of brown-covered socks for the current and/or new owners to find eventually.”
The Top Of A Mountain
A highly-liked comment was, “Can confirm the worst place to have diarrhea is on the top of a mountain with your best friends and VERY SOON to be fiancé. I had to run away, hide, empty my brains out, off the side of a mountain, and wipe with leaves quickly cause people start calling my name, wondering where I am. I finally yell out that I’m okay and just “peeing.” I go back with everyone, and my boyfriend gets down on one knee to propose to me. Little did he and everyone know I had just unloaded on that mountain.”
One person wrote, “Gridlock, never-ending traffic on a high-rise highway, so you can’t just run into the woods. Also, other people are in the car with you.”
Club Bathroom Line
A top-liked comment said, “In the queue of a packed nightclub toilet. when you get in there’s no toilet paper, there’s people already knocking the door and the security guy is trying to look over the door because you’re, “obviously doing drugs in there.”
Meeting Your Partners Parents For The First Time
One user commented, “I had a terrible bout of diarrhea at my ex’s parents’ place the first time I ever met them. That was… fun.”
Someone commented, “Your own wedding. I pooped 5 times on my wedding day. Once at home. Once at my in-laws getting ready. Once at the church and twice at the reception. No diarrhea, thankfully, just nervous poops, but I couldn’t imagine what the day would’ve been like with the squirts.”.
The Pope’s Summer Home
A popular comment was, “I was touring the pope’s summer home. It is a 45-ish minutes tour. 15 minutes into the tour, I have this immediate need for a bathroom. I asked for a bathroom, and the tour guide said the closest one is at least 15 minutes away. I had to pull the tour guide and one of the guards aside and tell them that if I don’t find a toilet soon, I will have to go in the Pope’s yard. So I got on the guard’s cart, and he drove me to a small bungalow. The small bungalow/hut is where the pope would stay if he were around. Long story short, I nuked the pope’s toilet.”
Significant Others Place
One poster said, “When I first started dating my now wife. While I was at her place, I had to use the bathroom badly, and she was in the living room with the bathroom basically in front. The door is right there, so you can’t help but see and hear people go into the bathroom. I have ulcerative colitis, and I had to tell her my condition. She was an adult about it. Thank god.”
This user replied, “I was with a friend once who got a sudden case of diarrhea. We were two hours into a corn maze. A corn maze with super dense walls, bridges, and fake routes into dead ends or loop-backs. One that was notorious for being hard as hell and requiring actual skill to escape, with most people taking 3 hours. The dude ran straight through the walls. I have no idea how he got out. But he did. Jesus, I’ve never seen someone so panicked.”
Crowded Swimming Pool
A person suggested, “A crowded swimming pool. People will start screaming, and chaos will break out. You’ll be surrounded by a brown cloud and seen as the point of origin—a truly awful situation.”
Driving Up A Mountain
This user added, “I was driving up Mount Kea with my ex gf and her two teen daughters. We had been out on an excursion earlier that day where I partook in a few too many fresh-picked guavas and started to feel a rumble as we headed up to Stargaze. I anxiously had my head on a swivel for a portapotty which didn’t arrive until we hit the visitor center at the top. Of course, there wasn’t any parking near the restrooms, but it was “go time” by the time I got there, so I just jumped out of the car and told my ex to park it.”
A Disney Line
A commenter stated, “In line at Disney World when you’ve already stood in line for an hour, and you’re halfway to the front. It hits you like a truck as you think of the 3 chili dogs and a bucket of buttery, salty popcorn you had earlier that day. You also have to haul 2 screaming toddlers away from the ride they were waiting to get on and make your way to the other side of the park to use the family restroom because you can’t let your kids wander around while you poop your brains out.”
This poster recalled, “It was my freshman year at college, still very early in the semester, and I wasn’t really familiar with the campus or building layouts yet. I was in a frosh English class, and my stomach bubbled from the cheap bear and greasy pizza from the night before. I got up and left class, leaving a cloud of noxious gas from my seat to the door. Hit the hallway and began to run as fast as humanly possible while clenching my butt cheeks as tight as possible. I hate pooping in public and looked everywhere for a low-traffic bathroom, and there was nothing around. I ended up finding an area of the building they were remodeling and ran straight for that bathroom as it was roped off with caution tape. Entered the bathroom to find almost everything was taken down, stall walls, toilets, and sinks. The only thing left on the walls were urinals with no running water. So it was there I unloaded my cheeks to the dismay of two construction workers who walked in mid-poop. Thankfully they were understanding and got me toilet paper. I offered to clean the urinal out, but they just laughed at me and said they would have the cleaning crew deal with it.”
On An Airplane
Finally, a commenter said, “An airplane. I’ve exploded at NBA games, porta potties, Wal-Marts. An airplane was the worst. You can’t run away, everyone knows it was you. They have to smell your smell for hours. You’ll want to jump out of the plane for sure.”
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