When you have been in a long-term relationship with someone, you become familiar with their usual habits and routines. So, when your partner suddenly deviates from their established routine and starts going out more frequently, it can trigger concerns and thoughts about whether something is amiss.
This change in behavior can be alarming and may lead to anxiety as you begin to contemplate worst-case scenarios.
Why The Sudden Change?
Why are they going out of their way to do something they’ve never done before? Are they cheating on me? This user (24M) has started to notice a worrying pattern in his wife’s (23F) late-night behavior. Let’s find out why he’s beginning to panic…
High School Sweethearts
The original poster (OP) explains that he married his wife when he was only 20, and the pair are high school sweethearts. The relationship has always been plain sailing, and they usually smooth things out quickly whenever they have disagreements.
Neither of them is massively sociable, and they typically prefer to spend their spare time with each other at home rather than out with friends.
However, OP’s wife has recently broken this habit and has started going out more frequently with her friends.
He is happy she’s become more outgoing, but he feels her partying might be excessive. He says it now at the point where she goes out every other night and sometimes doesn’t return home until the following morning.
He’s Starting to Worry
OP says that he can’t help but think the worst and has broached the topic with her. She has told him that she wants to enjoy her twenties, and while OP doesn’t want to be controlling, he isn’t comfortable with her being out all night multiple times a week.
When She Comes Home, She Seems “Off”
Moreover, when she comes home, she is “standoffish” with OP and doesn’t want to talk about her night out. OP wants to know how he can ask her to reign it in without coming across as controlling. He says that going out with her isn’t an option as that isn’t his scene.
A Difficult Situation Acknowledged
While almost everyone in the comments acknowledged that OP was in a tricky situation, everyone had differing views on how deep the problem was.
One person believed that his wife’s behavior stemmed from their marriage at a young age. They said: “This is why I think you shouldn’t marry young. “With the push of her friends, she probably feels she needs to have “college experiences” like going out and staying out. She probably realizes that the rest of her life is with someone, so she wants to have the majority of the fun that she would’ve had if she hadn’t married at 19.”
The End Might Be Near
Other people believed that the end of the relationship could be on the horizon, with one person saying that she was now living with her mom after enduring a similar situation with her husband. While another person said: “Unfortunately, this will be the end of OP’s relationship. Even if not cheating, making this a habit is not reasonable when married.”
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