Good To Keep Going: Little-Known Green Flags Found In Healthy Relationships
There are certain positive signs, often referred to as “green flags,” that people exhibit in a relationship that can indicate a healthy and promising connection. Some examples of “green flags” would be open and honest communication and the ability to express thoughts, feelings, and needs without fearing humiliation. Mutual respect, support, and trust are also vital “green flags.”
Willingness To Forgive
One user said, “Willingness to forgive you when you make a mistake/speak in anger/etc. rather than hold a grudge or try to punish you.”
Liking Who You Are
A second user shared, “When you like the person you become when you’re with them. Everyone projects a different version of themselves around different people. If you don’t like who you become when you’re with someone, it’s probably not going to be the healthiest relationship. Your significant other should bring out the best in you.”
Comfortable Silence
A third user added, “The ability to co-exist in companionable silence. This is a hugely healthy thing in a relationship!”
Takes You Serious
A poster commented, “Taking you seriously when something upsets you, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal from their perspective.”
Chores Together
A Redditor added, “If it’s a chore you both hate, you do it together. My late husband and I both HATED folding laundry, but it had to be done. So we always did it together. Made the chore less of a pain.”
Staying Cool
A poster said, “Not losing their temper when things don’t go their way. Example: do you want to be with someone who blows up when the car breaks down on a road trip and makes everyone else miserable or the person who calmly calls the repair service and tries to make the best of it?”
Being The One
A top-liked comment said, “I was driving to work, and one of the wheels fell off my car on the highway. I pulled over to the side of the road and called my boss and a tow truck, and then texted my new beau just for comfort. He asked where on the highway I was and said he’d be right there without hesitating. When he showed up and ran across the busy highway and scooped me up into a hug, I felt so loved and safe and thought, “Oh sh*t, this could be ‘the one.'”
No Personal Attacks
A Redditor said, “Not making personal attacks during arguments. Focusing more on how they are feeling and fixing the problem at hand, and then reconciling afterward, rather than lashing out with a list of perceived character flaws. Example: “I feel disrespected when…” rather than “You’re such a disrespectful [expletive of choice]!”
Putting Them First
A user had this to say, “I was dating a guy and had to drive his car to get him from work. I wrecked his car due to mechanical failure and called my mom to come to get me so we could go get him. Then had to tell him I’d wrecked his car. His first question: “Are you okay?” My mom overheard. “That one’s a keeper.”
Caring For Others
A commenter added, “Genuine care for you and others; a lack of self-centeredness. Being open to hearing the perspectives of others, even when they don’t agree. An understanding that they are not the center of the universe, they are not always right, and there is always something to learn.”
Anger Doesn’t Matter
This user said, “No matter how angry you are at one another. You will still go out of your way, or they go out of their way to help. I’ll be wicked pissed, but I’ll angrily make my wife her favorite dinner even though I don’t want to eat. No matter how angry we are at one another (usually only last a short period of time), we will never sabotage or try to teach them a lesson. Many times, it ends up being both apologizing to one another.”
To His Heart
A user recalled, “Came home from working a 12-hour shift one night to a full dinner with my favorite dessert. Never had a girlfriend who just decided to cook me a full meal for me to come home to like that.”
A Good Co-Pilot
This Redditor added, “When you’re on a road trip, your partner feeds you fries and helps you drink your soda or whatever. I think that’s such a nice simple gesture of kindness.”
Same Team
A poster shared, “My ex would tease me a lot and tease me in front of his family. He would say things like, “Oh, she changed her outfit 3 times because she thought you guys would judge her.” He would be laughing and joking, but these things would be the truth! When I was going to meet my current boyfriend’s family, I was really nervous! In the car, I said, “Please don’t tell them how nervous I am. It’s so embarrassing!” He looked at me in shock and said, “I’m on YOUR side! Why would I tell them that?” And it was like a freaking lightbulb! Love this guy.”
Accepts Criticism
A top-liked comment said, “When your significant other takes criticism from you seriously without immediately trying to turn it back on you, if the converse is also true, you two stand a great chance of going the distance.”
Not Disconnecting
One user commented, “Being able to connect even after an argument on an emotional level. Getting over arguments can take some time but still understanding and knowing the needs of your partner is really important and healthy.”
The Best Policy
A user mentioned, “Honesty with one another and a genuine interest in each other’s hobbies. You don’t have to do them, but at least support it.”
Healthy Conflict
A poster said, “Being able to have healthy conflict without fear that conflict will cause the end of the relationship. It’s a green flag (and a relief) to have natural disagreements and communication about those disagreements without the constant fear that someone will hit the nuclear option.”
Compliments
This Redditor added, “My friend asked if I could help her with something. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and while talking to her, she said, “You got new glasses?” I said yes. “They really suit you.” It honestly made my day. Compliments really go a long way.”
The Little Things
Finally, a Redditor shared, “Your partner does things for you without asking and remembers little details. For example, I like eating with a fruit fork (the smaller version of the dinner fork) my partner remembers this and will grab it for me when we’re eating.”
Source Reddit
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