Responding insensitively or negatively when someone says “I love you” can deeply hurt and damage a relationship. One of the worst possible responses is dismissing their feelings with a joke or sarcasm, as this trivializes their emotions and creates a barrier of vulnerability. Another harmful response is silence or avoidance, which can leave the person feeling rejected and confused. Being nonchalant or indifferent, such as responding with a casual “thanks” or “okay,” can make the person doubt the sincerity of their confession. Finally, but equally as damaging, is responding defensively by questioning their feelings or motives.
Sounds Like A “You” Problem
A poster shared, “Well, that sounds like a “you” problem.’ Stupidly, I stayed with him for almost two more years. You can’t fix broken.”
What The Heck?
A second poster added, “Oh, what the heck with that now! Seriously? Why?” That’s what I got once.
A third poster said, “I love you” – hangs up. *forgets about it the next day and pretends you are delusional* Yes, this happened to me.”
This user recalled, “We worked together at a resort for one summer. We lived at the resort while we worked there but were from cities that were a 12-hour drive from one another. We both discussed that we didn’t want to move and this was a summer fling. She told me she loved me, I was caught off guard, and I replied inappropriately. I said, “Well, stop it.”
A top-liked comment said, “Oohh….” Yeah, this one. Speaking from experience, way back when I told her I loved her. It wasn’t a short blunt “Oh.” but more of a wince-cringing one with a small vocal fry because they weren’t expecting me to have had a crush on them. Remains embedded in my memories forever.”
Someone added, “Absolute silence and a stare. Then she said, I could probably grow to love you, but I’m not there yet.”
Sorry To Hear That
One user said, “Aw, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Then I got a 20 min lecture about how true love isn’t real and that love, by definition, is conditional. I asked about those conditions, and he said he didn’t know. So I desperately and stupidly tried to make him love me.”
It’s Just Infatuation
A poster commented, “No, you don’t. You’re just infatuated with me.” It was more annoying than anything else.”
This commenter shared, “I was hungover one morning when she said it to me for the first time, and my immediate response was “What the heck?”. That went as well as you’d expect.”
A top-liked comment said, “The worst I got was “I know you are lying, but I wanna believe you.” What followed was 9 months of a very bad relationship.”
Wish I Could Say The Same
This user recalled, “I saw online last year a parent put their child in bed, kissed their forehead, and said, “I love you, goodnight.” The child responded, “I wish I could say the same; goodnight.” Kids can be brutal.”
Stop Saying That
One person shared, “When my ex said I love you for the first time, I asked him to stop saying that! He said it within a week… needless to say, it was one of the many red flags I missed seeing at the moment.”
A poster added, “I legit poured my heart out and told some girl that I loved her, and she looked me dead in the eyes – brief pause – and replied, “Thank you.”
This user stated, “The night after my long-term girlfriend cheated on me, I went to her apartment to see her. She asked me to come lay in her bed with her, and she put on a CD of a band we both loved. Before we started dating, I sent her this album in the mail with a note that said, “I hope you’ll love this band and album as much as I do.” It was like “our” soundtrack. We were about halfway through the album, just lying in bed together, and she turned to me and asked, “How do you feel?” I responded with, “I love you.” She responded, “I cheated on you last night.” Almost 25 years later, that response still breaks my heart.”
Finally, a user said, “Hold on, we only went out twice.” Anyways that was like 10 years ago, and she disappeared.”
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