The concept around “love languages” is how couples show each other love without necessarily saying it. It’s always nice to hear a partner say, “I love you,” but as humans, were programmed to want to see and feel the love that is given. There are several types of love languages people use to show their partners how much they care, and a big one for a lot of people is giving help to their partner. Relationships should always be 50/50.
It should never be one-sided, as that tends to lead to resentment and questions about being loved. One woman is currently embroiled in the battle of a lifetime as she undergoes chemotherapy for a rare form of cancer. Her partner feels that their relationship has become one-sided, and all she wants is to feel supported by him. Unfortunately, they may not make it to see the next chapter of their relationship.
The original poster (OP) is currently battling rare cancer and has been undergoing chemotherapy since the beginning of this past January. She does 8 hours at her cancer center, 5 days a week, every three weeks, and says that the treatments are very taxing on her body. She goes on to say after treatment she experiences nausea, extreme fatigue, and several other side effects.
Her boyfriend, who is eight years younger than her, asked her the night before her most recent chemo cycle if she would prepare his meals for him. She was hesitant and didn’t want to just flat out say no because of how sensitive she says he is.
Due to his sensitivity, when he feels hurt, she says it usually starts an argument, so she told him it would depend on how she felt and explained it might be better if he did it this week and that she would do it the following week when she recovered from this chemo cycle. She said he insisted she does it this week, and he didn’t seem like he would take no for an answer. His insistence started agitating her because she wanted to feel coddled and cared for during this time in her life and not pushed to do chores.
Love Language Battle
She goes on to say that he wanted his entire week’s worth of food made by her after being in the hospital for 10 hours. Her boyfriend works early mornings and gets out in the afternoon, and she feels he can do it himself. She then says that whenever he is at her place, she offers any food she has on hand and regularly cooks meals for them. She said she often rubs and massages him when they are on the couch and asks about him and his life. In other words, she says it’s not like their entire lives are about her and her sickness.
The woman says that she didn’t straight out refuse to make his meals, she just offered to make them when she knew she would be feeling better. Due to her offering to make the meals on a different week, she says he blew up on her, stating that acts of service are his love language and that their relationship is one-sided. He then left and went on to send her angry texts.
She says she refuses to engage in arguments with him because she doesn’t feel like fighting anymore, especially during her weeks of treatment, and that he doesn’t even do that much for her. She feels as though she doesn’t make him do much but wants to feel supported and validated, but he’s not even giving her that.
The Internet Weighs In
Redditors gave their opinions on whether or not this woman should be meal-prepping for her boyfriend while going through chemotherapy.
One Redditor said, “NTA. Girl, run. You have cancer, and all he can think about is himself.”
A second Redditor said, “If ” acts of service” is his love language, what services is he doing for you?”
A third Redditor replied, “He wants a mommy, not a girlfriend. OP having cancer should be an opportunity for him to give acts of service, not receive them. He’s right that the relationship is one-sided, but not about which side.”
Another user bluntly said, “No offense, OP, but I think this kid might be trying to get you to dump him. Sounds like he thought to reap the benefits of being with an older woman, and then found himself with an ill girlfriend he doesn’t want to leave because he would look bad.”
A Redditor also had this to say, “OP, he’s buzzwordy and an absolute AH. Love language is about what you do for others. It does NOT mean what you demand from others.”
Finally, a user said, “I was so glad to read that they are NOT married. He is literally an extra burden to op. Please don’t stay with him… NTA”
Redditors want this woman to run away and never look back. Forget meal-prepping and take care of herself first! What do you think?
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