Getting married should be for love and commitment to another person. That said, it’s also, in many ways, almost a business partnership as well. You share money, buy things that are investments, like a house, and hope your investment will pay off one day. There should also be a bit of fun in the relationship, like vacations, home upgrades, and hobbies.
There’s nothing wrong with this, provided you have the money and don’t just splurge on large ticket items without letting your partner know. One Redditor recently discovered that her husband’s hobbies cost them a lot of money, but his most recent hobby might just cost him their marriage.
The original poster (OP) and her husband have been together for 6 years. She says her husband has always been a little weird, but she loved that about him. She also says that one of the reasons why she fell in love with him was because he was never boring. Her husband’s hobbies would change all the time. It would go from painting to hiking, to swimming, to crocheting. It was a constant change. She said she never complained about it and always enjoyed it. OP then goes on to say it was really cyclical. The first few weeks would be a spark of passion, but then after the next few weeks, he would lose interest in it, and it would “hide in the back of their closet.”
OP said she would always keep his little makings and photos in a box when he was done with them (for memories). She goes on to say it was always a treat. However, OP says, more recently, they’ve been running low on money, but she has saved a jar of money in their room that they’d only used for emergencies. Then came the time to use the money in the jar as they ran too low for bills, insurance, unexpected medical expenses, or groceries. The first time she went to the jar, she noticed money was gone as her husband had come home with some groceries from the store. OP was helping him put the groceries away when she noticed a tennis racket and other tennis equipment in the bag.
OP was puzzled and asked him about the tennis gear, to which her husband replied that he bought it with his own money, so she thought it was fine, believed him, and went back to putting away groceries.
The next time she noticed money was missing from the jar. OP’s husband had come home with a new gaming system and some games. Again, she questioned him about how he paid for it. He responded it was with the money from the jar, but he would pay it back.
OP was upset by this and told him that the money was only for emergencies when they were running low on funds. He told her he knew and that he would repay it back. OP decided to leave it alone and hoped the money would return eventually, not pushing him as he wanted to “try video games out.” However, this didn’t make OP feel any better that emergency money would waste on video games.
Buying a Boat
The third time OP noticed money was taken from the jar, she lost her cool. This time all the money in the jar was gone. She said there were thousands of dollars in it, and the only way she could even calm herself was by thinking the money was being used for unexpected medical bills or house expenses.
OP immediately called her husband to ask where he was, and he responded that he went to purchase a boat! She told him not to bother returning home and hung up. OP said she needed to cool off and went to grab all the stuff in the back of the closet that he had previously purchased and posted it online to sell.
After OP’s husband returned home, he began to talk about how beautiful the boat was and all the fun they would have with it. OP remained silent, but upon talking to her, her husband noticed all of his stuff on the ground. OP told him she was selling it to get some money back, hopefully.
This enraged her husband, he tried taking all his stuff to put it back in the closet, and OP told him they either sell his old hobby stuff or he needed to rid of the boat. OP and her husband got into a fight, and he told her how she was being an a**h*le by trying to get rid of his stuff. She told him she would not support his hobbies anymore, especially if they were costing money they didn’t have. OP says she and her husband have not spoken in two days, and none of the money has been returned to the jar.
Redditors Weigh In
Redditors were quick to support the OP and give their opinion on the husband’s outlandish spending.
One Redditor responded, “NTA. Hun, you need to have your own savings account that he can’t touch. Shit like this is scary to me.”
A second Redditor said, “For anyone who missed this – the boat is not even remotely the problem. Neither is the husband’s spending. the husband is extremely extremely extremely controlling and abusive.”
A third Redditor bluntly said, “She needs a husband, not a child.”
Another user said, “NTA. Husband needs to realize that his hobbies are starting to affect your guy’s cost of living and both of your guy’s future. Saving money is already hard to do, but to use it all when you have already saved up that much on things you don’t need? That’s just not right.”
A Redditor had this to say, “Girl, so many people here are reacting to the symptoms but not the problem behind those. That man has no respect for boundaries and is incredibly selfish, not to mention a liar, lacking self-reflection, not to mention irresponsible.”
Another user said, “NTA. Be wary of him. He sounds impulsive to the point of self-destruction. What happens when he decides to try something else, like gambling? He already shows he has no concern or respect for the idea of an emergency fund. The fact he just takes it without consulting is very sketchy.”
To which another user responded, “Oh, he’s already gambling, just not in the traditional way. And like a compulsive gambler, he’s pissing away their future.”
Redditors agreed that the husband was out of line, and the OP should probably get her own savings account. What is your opinion? Should the OP have been a part of all the spending decisions being made?
This article is inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Neon Moon.
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